Molestation¹!
Unwarranted trouserial delvings!
It's gotta be The 'tache! I'm suddenly a veritable minge magnet!
There appears to be a dubious advantage being at the front of a gig where the fan base is gash frothing horndogs of a feminine nature, willing to get as close to their Idol as possible by any means necessary.
Adam and the Ants? Adam's Fan's Wet Pants, more like!
Anyhoo, there's me bopping at the front, when hands sidle around me waist, and a whisper in the ear "you don't mind if I press against you, there's more space here!". Next, there's bullet tips abraising my back as we sway together until, by subtle manipulation, she inveigles her way alongside, thrusting busoms in me face till I move aside.
Then I'm forgotten as she's now on the front railing.
Later, there's dodgy hands roaming about my person! Who the heck's checkin' out my ass? Better not be some burly fudgepacker mistaking me for gaybait just coz I'm at the front of an Ant gig! Now there's leg strokeage, and it's moving on up! Yikes, now they're attempting to sidle into me pocket!
I grab the hand in search of genital graspings, and there's a purr in my ear "can you let me in, I'm only little...". Phew! It's female! Squeeze slightly right, and she squeezes half in. Once again, mammarial accostage occurs. Next thing, arms are thrown around me, a cry of "you are lovely, you are! you're wonderful!", and my cheek is smothered in snoggage!
Then I'm forgotten as she's now on the front railing.
Who'd be me, eh? Trapped in front of a scantily clad Satanic Slut on stage, and having to endure being beset on all sides by rampant, horny women all lubed up over Adam Ant, grinding themselves against any physical manifestation of manflesh to frottagely alleviate their womanly passions.
Well, someone's gotta do it!
¹ DO SUBTERRAINIAN BURROWERS HAVE A RAILROAD, OTHER THAN THE TUBE?
