It appears to be my lot in life, to be beset on all sides by gormsters of such gormstrosity, it's beyond belief they were able to get employed in the first place.
I blame The Daily Fail and The "Daily Jugs" Scum (thank god sister paper The Nudes Of The World was axed!).
Now, someone asked what would be the quickest way to learn to fly, for their parents had told him that flying/gliding was a relaxing activity, 'twas an achievement to become a pilot, to soar in the air free as a bird.
So, they set themselves a goal. Can they learn to fly in a month?
After all, the quicker you learn, the quicker you pass, the more experience and the quicker you get up into the air!
But, oh wail, oh calamity, there was a knocking upon his door!
It's the elite anti-terrorism squad, wanting to ensure he's not an Al-Fajita terrorist, hell bent on a suicidal jyhad against The Decadent West!
Turns out, someone read his question asking about intensive flight courses, saw he had a foreign name, and promptly shopped him!
For as all the World knows, Terrorists go on open public global forums to ask The West for advice on how to train up so they can more efficiently put The West to waste.
Anyhoo, We have anti-terrorism and diversity training at work, so even if you're a completely dumbass racist xenophones, you're taught how to deal with suspected terrorists.
And how to dance in synchronised street troups.
Looks like the illiterate bigoted gobshite in question managed to read "report ANY suspicions via these internal paths" as "take a screenshot and run down the local cop shop in terror!"
Of course, everyone is up in arms1 at the actions of this Islamophobe. Except a couple.
SOME seem to think that he got what he deserved - by "trolling" a question about learning to fly when he has a Muslimy name. What do you expect - the first thing we think if Johnny Foreigner wants to fly is... 9/11, and it's just desserts that he gets felt up by the fuzz for implying he wants to drive a plane into us!
WTF?
And THEN, the justifying jockstap says asking for flying lessons is like that bloke who Twatted on Twatter a Twat about how he was going to blow up Doncaster airport!
Maybe it's just me, but I don't see any similarity between asking "How do I learn how to fly quickly" and stating explicitly "I'm going to blow up Doncaster airport".
Of course, these gormsters persist with the claim "well, why would anyone want to learn to fly quickly, within a month, if not to smash it into a building?"
By the same logic...
...what about them 5-day intensive drivign courses? Learn to drive and get a licence in UNDER A WEEK! And just why are they called "crash" courses?
A-ha!
Clearly anyone who asks about these 5 day courses MUST be a terrorist, intent on CRASHing into something! A jyhad against infidels on cycles, and confusing pedestrians with pædophiles.
And if there was any proof of such a terrorist organisation, I think Robert Rankin revealed it by exposing not Al-Quada, but the Black Order, London's Legion Of Cab Knights. A terror cell, not just one with a dodgy acronym2, but one with an insidious form of bringing down civilization - by taking overlong elaborate routes, talking their passengers to death, and charging extortionate fees to fund future terrorist atrocities!
Where will it end?
I can't even ask if Primark's pants are better than M&S, nor where I can buy them cool huge-soled boots them Goths & Emos wear, not even about five-a-side soccer training and how can I shoot like Beckham, just in case some retarded fuckwit makes a tenuous link between my basic requests and Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab3, Richard Colvin Reid4 & Anders Behring Breivik5, and decides I'm a muslim suicidal backpacking Islamist intent on nobbing a load of dead virgins in the afterlife like some phantasmagorical necrophillic radical fundament, and grasses me up to The Pigs!
And if Richard Reid is a terroristy name, what hope is there for me! I'll be bunged off to Guanotamichael Bay, and tortured with repeated viewings of Transformers Two! I wouldn't mind watching Kari Byron being shackled up again and waterboarded6, but I think I would rather go barefoot, commando and crap at football, instead of mistaken for a terrorist just because I asked for opinions on clothing and sports training.
Some people, eh!
1 AS IN UPROAR. NOT, I REPEAT - NOT - MILITARY ARMS. JUST IN CASE YOU'RE A RACIST THICKO EASILY CONFUSED BY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE AND THINKING OF SHOPPING ME TO "THE FEDS" BECAUSE I MENTIONED THE WORD ARMS.
2 B.O.L.L.O.C.K., FOR THOSE WHO KNOW NOT WHAT AN ACRONYM MEANS.
3 THE UNDERPANTS BOMBER
4 THE SHOEBOMBER
5 THE UTØYA ISLAND GUNMAN
6 INSTEAD OF CHINESE WATER TORTURED LIKE SHE WAS ON MYTHBUSTERS. BUT IN A FLIMSY WHITE BLOUSE. WITH NO BRA. OR SOMETHING.
