Bigfeets!
Great hairyass giant monkeyfolk stalking the American forestry!
Yes, I've been watching a tellyshow by the B.F.R.O., which is like the L.A.P.D., except they hunt Sasquatches. It's like that Most Haunted, but instead of thermo-imaged green-tinted night visions of Poultrygooses, it's thermo-imaged green-tinted night terrors of Abdominal Snowfolk lobbing rocks over roads or ambling amonst the foliage in the distance!
Now, they say that when you love something, you ends up looking like it. And in some cases, nobbing it also.
Take Pet Owners. Many's the time you see someone and think "Fuck me!". Oh no. That;s when it's a hot Pretty. However, many's the time you see someone with their pet and think "Fuck me! Christ do they look like their pet!"
Like Mr Beefcake and his Pug. Or some dollybird in leg warmers with a Poodle and permy hair. etc.
Seems like a couple of these yowling Yowie researchers have also morphed into simian cryptids!
Take "Lead investigator" and Lord High Tubbyness Matt "Shake Ya" Moneymaker and his mate Bobo. A right pair of portly paranthropus if every I saw 'em! Great fat hairy beasts, easily mistake for gorilllery Gigantopithecus lurking in the shrubbery! Scoffing peanut butter & chocolate (apparently the staple diet fot forestry yetis).
"Hey, Miss man-like Renae, lookit that ridge! I believe that be a 'squatch up in them that trees"
"Are you sure? I don't believe anything I can't replicate!"
"Uh huh huh, fancy 'replicating' with me in the bushes?"
"No way! Give that tree a knock"
"I'll bang it with my stiff wood"
"Shall I emit a high piched yowl?"
"Sure thing!"Knockitty knockitty and screech and howl and yowl and growly growlage"I don't hear nuthin'. You still see that squatch?"
"uh huh"
"What's it doin'"
"Looks like it's sittin' on something. Maybe an indian woman. To shelter her from the rain."
"You mean the 'squatch is squatting on a squaw in a squall? Is she squirting?"
"a-hayuh"
"Ah, that be Bobo nobbing a local in the shrubbery"
Meanwhile...
"Ooh Bobo, here's where I saw the bigfoots"
"I'll just go over here. Did it look like THIS"
"Ooh yes, but bigger. Much bigger"
"How about if I stand in this preposterous pose?"
"That's it!"
"Well, definately a 'squatch. It can't be a bear, and everyone know's 'squatches are all over this place, so you DEFINATELY saw a 'squatch"
"Fancy a bit of a squelch?"
"Hubba hubba! You sure do have a purty mouth! Squeal piggy!
I may have exaggerated events on the show somewhat...
