Jesus please us!
Yesterday, 'twas hot enough to boil a monkey's bum and no mistake!
After evaporating in the car, build up a lovely sweat meandering aroung Nottingham, with a slap up Wetherspoons feast to get us through the day/night.
And then - another melt-in-the-car trip to the festival... a bit further... a bit further more... are you SURE it's Nottingham... nearly there... oh, basically practically Sheffield then!
All a-drench, exit into the furnace field, and immediate ice cream and blue shlush puppy!
And we're off! The Christians... I'll have whatever the lead singer is having! Off his tits, he is! And who's that in the wings? T'Pau were supposed to play today, and that does look like Carol Decker, gesticulating and screaming at The Christians. "TWO SONGS!" TWO SONGS!" "LOOK AT THE TIME!" "HURRY UP AND FINISH. YA BASTARDS!".
Obviously having one of her now legendary strops. Presumably that's why we never gots to see T'Pau later, as all her blouses were once again bukakke'd up by roadies narked off with the harpy harping on at everybody.
Or something.
Anyhoo, on to Go West. Well. Go West. Nothing you can say, really. Not exactly... rocking the joint. Oh well, I'm off for more frozen blue stuff!
And return, and they're still playing. But... covering Kings Of Leon! Not bad - Sex On Fire (which reminds me of a Pretty - know what I mean Paul/Chez?). And, as I watch, I gets dragged into dancifications my Her Madgesty! None other than Madonna herself!
Boogie on down!
Come back to our camp, we'll have fun!
Alas, I have my compatriots to get to. Catch up later!
For here is Belinda "piss in my freezer's ice cube tray" Carlisle! And wouldn't you know it, Madge is back! And The Xym has a new friend in Madonna!
HOLD THE FRONT PAGE!
Yes, you read that right! The Xym actually INTERACTED, TALKED TO, even GOT ON WITH someone he never knew before who wasn't drawn into his circle of friends! And a Pretty too!
HOLY SHIT! DOES THAT MEAN... THE XYM WILL ACTUALLY START INTERACTING WITH NEW FOLK? SURELY, YE ENDDE TYME∫ HATH COME!
And so I actually abandon Paul & Mark in favour of Fi, and we go off to her camp. Whereupon I am introduced many times to New Friends! New Friends that include Kylie Minogue, Freddie Mercury and a Smurf! Unfortunately, my slush sucked tongue hath been noticed for being all blue! Phew - they think I'm on the Viagra, and not going round blowing off Smurfs!
But who's that? Is that.. Tony Hadley-we-love-him-madly on stage? of course not - it's ABC! So back for a bop pulling Usain Bolt archery poses as we shoot that poison arrow.
Then back to camp, where Mister Mercury provides me with a special Pimms.
With a floater in it.
But, no time for more shocks of Xym actually socialising, for we must dance to Marc Almond whist being fitted with straw stetsons!
And... abandon my mandem duo for my new crew! And me & Fi are getting married! We get an engagement present of a glowstick. And a glowstick necklace!
But no time for wedding plans - for we must join up with Paul & Mark for OMD!
Brilliant!
And then it's all over, and I have to leave my new found friends :(
Still - see how The Xym progresses! He actually mingled with peoples, AND exchanged numbers with Madonna! And may even meet up with New Crew for other musicality eventage!
Is this a new Xym? Bold, brave and confident?
Or will he just revert into his usual, shy, gentlemanly self and hide behind decorum, etiquette, politeness, manners and an armoury of accoutrements?
Probably the latter, for the new accoutrement is looking good! Need to tinker a bit, then check some things out with it, but I'm gonna be so cool in it!
So cool?
Damn fool, more like!
