Get in!
I just got an Olympic Gold Medal!
Several, in fact.
Gold in Olympic Awesomeness Event!
Gold in Olympic Hat Event (plus world record in hat height)!
Gold in Beautific Bountiful Barnet Event (awarded extra points for plumage and a profileration of purple)!
Plus more besides!! Olympic Eating Event, Olympic Thumb Wars, the thoroughly exhaustive Olympian Couch Potato Marathon Viewing Of Ladies Beach Volleyball...
True, they may have been chocolate in gold foil, rather than actual gold. And in an orange string vest rather than a purple ribbon.
True, also, that Judge, Adjudicator, Appeal Panellist and Awarder of Awards was myself.
Doesn't invalidate my Olympian greatness though!
I'd like to thank the people of Norwich, the people of London, Team GB and everyone else who has supported me.
And boy, did I need support! My fat tum now needs a belliwheel to carry it about!
