♪ A yellow sun was rising in Norfolk
Xymni had gone but not to his home
Like a freak, The Xym, all the Pretties think he's gay
O'er the wind and dust you hear them say
"Do you believe in the FriendZone" ♪
Right, clearly I's getting old, as them young guns (what go for it) garner more & more incomprehensible incomprehensibilities, such as Dryathleting and FriendZoning.
Now, I thought "The FriendZone" was... your circle of friends. So, when you're friends, you're in the FriendZone. When you have a huge bust up, then you're outta the FriendZone. Fuck off - you no friend of mine.
But today, I find out it's not.
Apparently, The FriendZone is "People you don't want to shag", and by "escaping the FriendZone" means you've become eminently fuckable. even by all your friends. or something.
Which confuses me, for them young 'uns and their new fangled fashions all have them "FuckBuddies" because they invented it to sex-up TouchCloth to make it more adult than Dr Who when shown at teatime.
But these mythical FuckBuddies are friends you shag because you haven't got anyone to shag, so friends help each other out. Which surely puts them slap ban in the middle of this "FriendZone"...
...with the emphasis on the slapping & banging.
Perhaps Facebook should recategorize it's Friend Request. Once someone ads you as a friend, you drop them into a friend category:
Non-FriendZone 1: Family
Non-FriendZone 2: Gits I work with but loathe but had to add them coz I work with them. Bastards.
FriendZone 1: Friends I'm just a friends with
FriendZone 2: Friends I'm fucking till I find a partner
FriendZone 3: Friends I'm fucking, and will cheat with after I find a partner
FriendZone 4: Friends who are munterescent trolls - never fucking any of them
FriendZone 5: Friends I wouldn't mind fucking
FriendZone 6: Friends who are friends purely coz I want to fuck 'em
FriendZone 7: Friends who are friends only because they have to be, coz they're friends with a proper friend and you have to befriend them in case they feel left out or upset
FriendZone 8: Friends I've made at work, but wouldn't shag
FriendZone 9: Friends from work I would shag
FriendZone 10: Friends I REALLY wanna roger senseless given half the chance
FriendZone 11: Friends just to monitor relationship status, so you can boff 'em as soon as they become single...
Etc, etc...
"FriendZone" my arse!
"FriendZone" my arse!
