Beards.
I admit to having a slight toblerone merkin on me chin, but there are those who enjoy great lengths of facial furniture.
A length that requires it to be braided into a dwarven style to keep it under control.
But it's very length defies control, as you sit at table, for often it will dip unnoticed into your caffeinated beverage of choice. or tea. Even cameltoe tea.
But is this liquid contact accidental at all?
Perhaps it hides a BrundleFly proboscis, hidden within the hairy braids? Sucking up liquids through a hidden beardy straw... or does the hairy human feed by capillary action? As the tip of Gimli's twat tickler engages with the mocha meniscus, does it draw up the fluid along it's braided channels and into the corners if it's mouth?
Who knows?
Not me, but what I do know is that with a great length of slim chinbeard, you could roll it up around a pencil with some product, and remove the pencil when it's set.
Then you have a chin coil spring thing!
Not only will it prevent impregnation when performing oral sex, but it can be utilised to power clockwork stuffs, and literally turn your visage into a steampunk watch face!
Attach a couple of hands to your nose, and hey presto! What time is it? Well, the big hand is on forehead, the little hand on right eye - 1 o'clock! Oh, it's mouth to left cheek - must be half nine!
And all powered by naught but spring loaded facial foliage!
How come them there Greybeards never think up this stuff? Call themselves clever? They spend years playing with iron filings and litmus paper to prove black holes are caused by 2 Higg's bo'suns havin it off, and I come up with an environmentally practical idea off the too of me head!
Wasted, I am. Wasted, I tell you! All this genius going to waste when I could be time travelling via the use of chronological cheese.
Time after time!
Time after time!
