Why is it always me?
So, me & my Sister are at HitParade & 80s night, and it's pretty empty apart from a few groups of dancing Pretties.
And I finds meself alongside a pair of continental cuties as that there son always shites on the TV.
"Excuse-a me plaise, vot eez diss?"
"It's A-Ha. Morten Harkett? The Sun Always Shines On TV. "
"Ay cannot daynse to diss!"
"just go with it, feel the rhythm!"
So we carry on dancing, and (as ever) get separated as more dancers fill the floor.
Nip out to the smoking area to cool down... and there's the little red dressed pretty, so we joins her at table.
"Hola! What you do out here?"
"We've come out to cool down after all that dancin'"
"I really want to dance with you, but dance on your own"
"You should have said something or come & joined me!"
"You have rhythm. You has moves"
Now, here's Xym thinking "Blimey! A Pretty taking an interest in Xym... and Xym bantering back! Looks like I'm actually gonna pull this time!"
"You are gay, yes?"
"WHAT?"
"You are gay"
"No! I'm not gay at all!!"
"You are not gay?"
"NO!"
"But you don't look very masculine"
" !"
"And you dance... you really aren't gay? Are you sure"
At that point, her friend dragged her off apologetically for her inebriated desire to be a "fag hag". or something,
And then, on the stairs, my Sister was taking the piss out my Polish accent sounding Welsh... well, Indian, and we think they overheard and got all uppity and left the club.
Just my luck. I'm finally not being hit on by gayboy chavscum, and it turns out the Pretty is only interested in me coz she thinks I'm gay because I'm a fabulous dancer who can move to the beat. And I get dropped like yesterday's jam as soon as she realises I'm definately not gay!
♪ I'm thinking of thinking of calling her
right after my afternoon nap.
I'm thinking of thinking of sending her flowers
right after Bonnie gets back.
So many fishes left in the sea,
so many fishes,
but no one for me ♪
Looks like a need an image revamp. I thought I would remain single for ever, due to the slim chance of meeting a Pretty with a penchant for short fat gothboys with preposterous hair, ludicrous glittered hair, ridiculous twiddle 'tashe, and occasional millinery headgear.
But no.
Turns out I've no chance with Teh Oretties coz they all thinks I'm gay.
(and I'd just like to reiterate, ladies, despite my dancing skillz - I'M NOT GAY!)
Oh noes - 80s night...
Oh noes - 80s night...
