Well, NYE started out well, in the doghouse with Pretties! Pretties in awe and admiration of the pluméd Xym - and SHOCK HORROR! A pretty was allowed to be photographicated wearing Xym's millinery magnificence!
But the Venue wasn't for some, so we high tailed it down to The Whatacunt!
And what a night it was!
Upstairs, Downstairs, and in my ladies chamber pot. or something. Not chamber pot - smoking hot Pretties area, where Xym blended in with his e-fag!
And whilst deep in converse (and not Uggly Grannyslippers) Xym's Sister sort of coerced him into sending many FaceBookakke friend requests to some of Xym's virtual Whatacunt harem!
Yikes! and Oh Dear! And shit-the-bed in embarrassment! Now a whole host of hot dames will be creeped out as they receive a drunken friend request from "that weirdo with the 'tash who keeps ogling me up, the perv"
#PretendItDidn'tHappen! #WaitForBarrageOfDeclinations #BlameJo #SiblingMatchmakerFail #HaveToAvoidTheWaterfrontNow
Anyhoo, there is now a lack of obligatory finger wrigglage, for Xym's limb is out of order!
As ever Chivalrous Xym was (apart from the de rigeuer comedy lecherous leerage) his usual gentlemanly self, and when one of my sultry sirens came along, one held the door open to allow my Lovely Lady to pass...
...and in the process twatted my hand to buggery!
How simply opening a door led to such injury is incomprehensible to me, but somehow it happened,and now I is all black & blue about the palm and in agony and unable to amuse with Rik Mayall mannerisms.
Ouchies by the score. One is now about to submerge one's hand in a bowl of icy ice water... and hope for a lack of morphean micturations due to aqua-frosted dipped digits!
