T'other day I moaned about being offered an IT Professional course on basically how to switch on a laptop and use MS Word.
Today, I hear about a new course - nay, a degree!
So, in a change of career direction, I may take up this course.
And what is this course of practicality? Why - a course in pop tart Beyoncé Knowles!
Who needs web design skillz, accountancy skillz, or even social interactivity skillz? Clearly what I'm missing is a degree in being Crazy In Love with all them Single Ladies who put their hands up.
Right up! Putting a ring on it.
Or "fisting", to put it politely.
Obviously, to get a job, I need B.A.Baracus Honor Blackman in Destiny's Spawn and her altar ego Sasha Barren-Cohen Fierce and the politics of Lady Gaga ramming a sandwich in Beyoncé's plastic sex-doll face while they blather on about broken mirrors and motherfucker reflections on the Telephone.
All academics need instruction in a Bootylicious Nasty Girl if they want that promotion. A deep understanding of Déjà-Vu about one night stands with a Naughty Girl and ending up with a Baby Boy for DNA on Jeremy Kyle.
I reckon some damn fool had just made this up! Some Beautiful Liar, albeit one whose pelvic extremities do not dispel untruths.
Or something.
But being unfamiliar with any of Beyoncé's work, I'm at a mass-disadvantage in the job market, having no knowledge of a singular title of her musical compositions.
So I'll just have to sign on. Using my initals only.
XO
