Seems a pretty odd request to me!
"What do you want for your anniversary, Dear?"
"Spam up!"
And bless him, the old duffer gets her a tin of the tasty snackette, rather than the annual shagathon she was euphanisming about!
"oooh, I don't half fancy a bit of Spam Up... me snatch! N'yah n'yah N'yah!!!"
Bad enough being drilled with an OAPs pork sword on yer anniversary, but a double dose of pigplague is in the tasty treat - being Spiced HAM and PORK, resulting in STDs a-plenty (Swine Transmitted Delicacy).
But Hogfever isn't the worst of it... according to one of these Spam Up ad, the genetically modified staple* diet of the Vikings is arising out of the tin like some Martian invasionary force!
Next morning, a crowd gathered on the breakfast table, hypnotised by the peeling back of the can..."
Two inches of ringpull projected, when suddenly, the lid fell back...
Two luminous, disc like eyes appeared above the rim...
A huge, pinkly bulk, larger than a pear, rose up slowly, glistening like wet gelatine..."
It's lipless mouth quivered and slathered, and snake like arms writhed as the clumsy body heaved and pulsated, like a minature Mr Stay-Puft on the rampage!"
