Cast your critical eye of this photograhical wonderment:
A fine holiday snap, you may say.
But how fine?
A fine of £2,7000,000.
Yep - that very photo (snapped by Andreas Gursky on his holiday to Great Y'ha-Nthlei to pick up cyclopean sex toys from Dagon's Dildos adult stall on the left hand side of Martyn's Wankaround Store on Regents Road) just sold to one of them cash strapped "we're all in it together" austerity fleeced bods for 2.7million squids!
Just what makes that shot worth 2.7m? There's certainly no pretties in trouser arousing attire, alien big cats, space monster driven dirigibles or sea serpents in it to make it rare and unique!
Hold on - perhaps that's it! It's Loch Ness, and definitive proof of the existence of batrachian behemoths who've been munching on the scottich fisherfolk! Cheap at twice the Price!
But not Katie Price. Cheap AS Katie Price perhaps. But do I price the Price at £2.7m? Well, the Price Is Right, so I guess we should ask her. But she's as thick as pigshit, so it's probably not worth the bother. Loch Ness Camel? Lot less cameltoe, preferably!
Naturally, Nessie isn't actually in the shot - but isn't that always the way? By the time you get to press the shutter, the saurian deep dino-diver of the deep has dived below, leaving naught but a streamlined stream bereft of humps.
Still, it's not Andreas's fault¹ that the bashful Pleasure-You-Saw-Us is camera shy. At the very least, it stands as a historical monument to the moment a momemtous moment a monster was missed because Andreas didn't whip it out in time.
Same goes for his camera.
¹ NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH SAN ANDREAS FAULT, THE TECTONIC ACTION OF WHICH CAUSED THE GREAT 1906 SAN FRANCISO EARTHQUAKE THAT RELEASED BOTH GODZILLA AND THE LOCH NESS CAMEL FROM THEIR SUBAQUARIAN SLUMBERS. ONE TO WREAK HAVOC UPON TOKYO, AND ONE TO MILDY PEEP OUT THE WATER AT KILT CLAD DRINKERS OF GLENMORANGIE AND PUT THE WIND UP THEIR SPORRAN.
