Suit Allures! le Roi Charles was invited to a surprise partay in the Take That Crypt!
But what's this? Last minute telecommunicatory advices of locatory confusion - not that The Crypt, it's t'other The Crypt! Die Krüpps? Nein! The Xym must fjord yon slumber apparatus for ye quaffage!
Ah, but it seems The Xym is more suited for queefage, due to the trimness of facial foliage! For Pretties adviseth that the 'tache is ideally suited for quim based stimulation¹. Admittedly, the young, innocent rock chick was unaware of precisely what quim is, and I doubt an offer of putting the 'tache to the test wouldn't go down too well.
Which rather disproves the point (if you know what I mean, and I'm sure that you do!)...
Anyhoo, more Pretties to
Discourse now squeaks around combining WKD core and Goldschläger becoming Apple Pie. Naturally, I'm informed by the inebriated lady that her flange feels nothing like pie de pomme. Although I guess it depends on pie in question.
What if it's a Maccy D's Apple Pie? All hot and covered in crispy batter... not to mention shaped like a 'Brazillian' merkin, not dissimilar to the velcro-esque strip of chinwig I now sport under my twiddly 'tache twat tickler!
Or am I thinking of the filet o' fish (with obligatory 4 minute wait for that Sir, an NO! We don't sell onion rings)?
Whatever - all I know is that eventually there was a comPEEtition² for the fastest golden shower in the somewhat 'green' toilets, monitored by young fellow-me-lads through the windows.
But, alas, today is the tumbling of toothpaste, for according to sexy sirens of Polish prettyness, although Pretties like to admire impressive 'tache's upon the menfolk, they won't not kiss 'em due to 'tache rash & itchiness induced by stubble snoggage
On the other hand (probably the hand not caressing her beautiful busoms with her five palce due to lack of a kchuk) - if Pretties prefer the tingle of 'tache on their twinkle, is entwining tongue all that important? Perhaps I need to extract my 'tache, so I can put it on to pull, whip it off to snog, then stick it back on at fish supper time!
Not to be confused with penis buttock jelly time, involving Brian in a banana suit. Probably.
Still - she says that now. Just wait till it gets long enough to tease into a Go Cumpare stylee³ - Pretties will be queueing up to ravish me then, coz all women want a Gio Cumpario!
Go Compaaaaarrrre!
Go Compaaaaarrrre!
A joy so rare
with Xym's lip hair
on your 'down there'
With just a few licks
and clitoral flicks
and you'll thank your stars that your quim met Xym's lip hair!
Go Compaaaaarrrre!
Or something...
¹ V FOR VAG-EATER, AND INTO THE (LURVE) GRAVEE! OR FANNY BATTER, TO BE MORE PRECISE. OR JUST DOWNRIGHT OBSCENE.
² SEE WHAT I DID THERE!
³ AND IF MY 'TACHE GET'S LONG ENOUGH, I CAN DO THAT TOO!
BA'DUM TISH!
I'M HERE ALL WEEK.
THANK YOU, AND GOODNIGHT!
