At last, The Public can rest in peace without fear of octogenarians in short shorts rising from the grave to chase them in a marathon so that the charity running corpse can feast upon their entrails.
For Sir Jimmy Saville has been encased in concrete as a "security measure".
Now, I'm all for the prevention of the Rise Of The Dead, but entombing the living dead in concrete to prevent their rising is a tad extreme. OK, so not everybody has a shotgun to shoot them in the head, thus stopping the ravener in it's tracks, but at least a headshot eliminates the threat forever.
Now, in the future, some unsuspecting Tony Robinson of the Future Time Team will end up excavating a dig, and accidentally release the aged old fossil into a world unprepared for brain banquet reanimatory massacre.
I've seen Demolition Man! If they can't cope with Simon Pheonix, how can they ever cope with Zombie Jimmy?
There you'll be, having that virtual reality helmet bathtub simulated lovemaking with Sandra Bullock in her cameltoed police uniform, when in bursts the cadaverous cannibal Saville of the walking dead! With a cry of "And the band was... Showaddywaddy" and he'll leap on Lovely Lenina Huxley and munch her out before you even get a chance to get a proper chance at Fluid Transfer!
And I'll tell you summat else - even as an incredibly sensitive man, who inspires joy-joy feelings in all those around him... I'm not going to match Jimmy's meat or lick his ass, either!
Sandra Bullock's, on the other hand...
