After all the hassle of Grope-on, and being pissed about with scheduling, we FINALLY gets to got speedbootin' off lowestahhhhft pier!
Thrills! Excitement! A veritable orgasmatron of speed o'er the waves!
Especially belted up in Christian Grey bondage strappy stuff. All belts, buckles, crotch buckles (lifejackets).
Oh my!
And then, the theftage by winds of my feathery earpiece! Lost forever :(
Not so! A handy ninja on the back of the speedboat snatched it out of the air at the speed of lightning! A deft retrieval from the skies of one of my iconic signatures, and I'm whole again! Even Ithaqua, the Walker on the Winds, passing through the Icy Wastes of Lowestoft can't thieve off with my look!
Ha! Take that deity from Beyond the Spheres!!
So, after a hot, sunny voyage upon ye high seas (arrrrr!) and finding Fanny Merkin in WH Smith, it's off for a BBQ in the sweltering heat!
And, naturally, soon as we get to the venue, up open the heavens. Clearly, Ithaqua, in a pique of Jealousy, has nipped over to his mate Tlaloc's house and asked him to whip up a drenching of the Xym. Just because I have a fab earring!!
And so we're huddled in a tiny hut, with waterlogged burgers, soggy sausage and flooded chicken whilst being assaulted with Hentai tentacles.
Well, 60 metre straws.
Or something.
But how to occupy your time during a deluge?
Allow yourself to be pasted in glitter and copydex.
And by copydex, for once I actually do mean copydex, and not jizz!
And, naturally, as soon as the BBQ is over... Ithaqua gives Tlaloc a nudge, who stops wringing out his bath sponge and kicks Ra out of bed and get him to turn his torch on and put the thermostat up.
Which makes a change from a Rampant Rabbit I guess.
Which explains why it's been so cold. Too busy putting up the penii, rather than putting up the thermostat and getting it a bit warmer!
And then back to Costessey for prevention of ogling the Beach Volleyball, a sneaky perve at the TNA womens
Eventually, I trudge back home to watch the grand prix! 00:30? Ah - I can watch Cloverfield rip-off Monster on Sy-fy till it starts and then zzzzzzzzzzz...
...zzzzzzzz....
...wuzzat, eh, whut... oh, bugger! Fell asleep and woked up just as the Grand Prix credits roll...
