Wednesday, 25 July 2012

Xym's list of exciting stuff (August '12)...

A list of upcoming stuffs what The Xym is sort-of looking forward to.

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Film

17 Aug 2012 The Bourne Legacy
Seems to be a reboot/remake of The Bourne Identity.
17 Aug 2012 Brave
Pixar wee Scotch lassie stuff!
29 Aug 2012 Total Recall
[unnecessary] Remake… but I'm told Kate Beckinsale isn't in it… apparently, she was to be the three-titted woman, but her husband didn't want her getting her norks out on camera. With a extra jug perched between her dirty pillows.
29 Aug 2012 The Watch
4 Neighbourhood Watch members take on invading Space Monsters…
31 Aug 2012 The Possession
Women buys a box at a yard sale. And demons terrorise her. Sounds a bit Hellraisery to me!
14 Sep 2012 Paranorman
14 Sep 2012 Resident Evil: Retribution
21 Sep 2012 Dredd
Karl Urban (as Dredd) will NOT remove the helmet. Despite Olivia Thirlby playing PSI Anderson, they're fending off Lena Headey's drug gang… apparently The Dark Judges are being held back for the [potential] sequel…
28 Sep 2012 Looper
Time Travel assasinatory type shennanigans
12 Oct 2012 Frankenweenie
Tim Burton's full length stop-motion movie (based on his short film)
31 Oct 2012 Silent Hill: Revelation 3D
?? Oct 2012 Giant God Warrior Appears in Tokyo
Studio Ghibli live action epic, directed by Hideaki Anno of Neon Genesis Evangelion! Trailer looks… suspiciously similar to Evangelion… paving the way for a full, live action version of Evangelion after 4.44 comes out?
16 Nov 2012 Breaking Dawn part 2
14 Dec 2012 Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
11 Jan 2013 Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
I thought it was this year… apparently, it's next year. Bollocks.
11 Jan 2013 Les Misérables
Movie of the Musical. Hugh Jackman as Valjean, Russell Crowe as Javert, Anne Hathaway as Fantine, Sacha Baron Cohen as Thénardier and... ♥♥♥HELENA BONHAM-CARTER♥♥♥☺ as Madame Thénardier!!
?? Feb 2013 Wreck-It Ralph
Video Game boss escapes his game, and goes through the other games in the Arcade. Lots of classic game boss cameos…
08 Mar 2013 Oz: The Great & The Powerful
Prequel to Wizard of Oz
22 Mar 2013 Jack The Giant Killer
?? Apr 2013 Oblivion
12 Apr 2013 Stephen King's Carrie
Chloe Grace Moretz to play Carrietta White, Julianne Moore to play Margaret White
12 Apr 2013 Evil Dead
Remake in progress.
03 May 2013 Iron Man 3
Plot based on the nanotech comic storyline Extremis
17 May 2013 Star Trek 2
23 May 2013 The Lone Ranger
Johnny Depp as Tonto…
23 May 2014 Planet of the Apes 2
Sequel to Tise of the Planet of the Apes being fast-tracked. Andy Serkis mo-capping again.
14 Jun 2013 Man Of Steel
Zack Snyder reboots Superman…
12 Jul 2013 Monsters University
Prequel to Monsters Inc.
12 Jul 2013 Pacific Rim
Guillero Del Toro's Kaiju homage. Giant sea monsters awaken, only to be fought off by giant robots piloted by humans!
26 Jul 2013 Wolverine, The
Hugh Jackman in another X-Men sequel
?? Jul 2013 Robopocalypse
Spielberg adap of Daniel H Wilson Rise Of The Machines type novel
09 Aug 2013 Robocop
Remake… and Robocop will have a visor so you can see Murphy's eyes/face. Gary Oldman cast (prob not as Murphy tho')
04 Oct 2013 Sin City 2: A Dame To Kill For
08 Nov 2013 Thor 2
22 Nov 2013 Hunger Games 2: Catching Fire
13 Dec 2013 Hobbit: There And Back Again
14 Mar 2014 Maleficent
Angelina Jolie cast as Maleficient (looks awesome in the teaser pics)
04 Apr 2014 Captain America 2
?? May 2014 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Remember the recent relief that the reboot had been scrapped… it's back on again. Fuck. Let's hope they've dropped the Ninja Turtles created by Space Monsters twattery that cunted up the last reboot plot…
29 Jun 2014 Transformers 4
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Blu-Ray

20 Aug 2012 GYO Tokyo Fish Attack
Zombie Fish with robo-legs invade Tokyo..
20 Aug 2012 Puppetmaster
27 Aug 2012 Walking Dead (Series 2)
27 Aug 2012 War of the Worlds
Series 2 of the 1989 TV spin off from the George Pal 1953 movie (DVD only)
30 Aug 2012 War of the Worlds: Goliath
Manga-esque steampunk sequel to WotW (sort of like Scarlet Traces). Rumoured to also be in 3D.
03 Sep 2012 .[rec]3: Genesis
03 Sep 2012 Hunger Games
Seriously - just buy Battle Royale and avoid this shit!
18 Sep 2012 Judge Dredd
There are a few good things in this… um… yeah - The Angel Gang, an ABC warrior, but seriously - removing the helmet? Fergee? Dredd snogging?
09 Oct 2012 Little Shop Of Horrors: The Intended Cut
CONFIRMED. 2 discs, Theatrical cut & Director's Cut, packaged in a 40 page book. Directors cut has the original ending, in color, mastered from the original color negatives!
15 Oct 2012 American Horror Story (series 1)
?? Oct 2012 Evangelion 3.33: Quickening
09 Sep 2012 Cabin In The Woods
10 Sep 2012 Battleship
17 Sep 2012 Avengers Assemble
24 Sep 2012 Resident Evil: Damnation
?? ??? 2012 Blade Runner
30th Anniversary Edition
?? ??? 2012 War Of The Worlds: The True Story
Tim Hines accepts flaws on his original WotW, and does a much better job on this faux documentary
?? ??? ???? Kill Bill Redux
Volumes 1 & 2 re-edited into one movie
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Gigs

09 Aug 2012 *POSTPONED* *CANCELLED* Chthonic
Norwich WhatACunt. No new date - tickets now being refunded
07 Sep 2012 Gary Numan
Norwich UEA
15 Sep 2012 Mortad
Norwich WhatACunt
16 Sep 2012 The Cult
Londinium - Wembley arena
Support from The Mission AND Killing Joke!
5 day tour:
11th - Newcastle Radio Arena
12th - Sheffield Motorpoint Arena
14th Manchester Arena
15th Birmingham LG Arena
Seems that Jazz threw a right old strop on Facebook!
"Dear Gatherers,
It gives me great pleasure to announce the cancellation of the upcoming gigs with The Cult and The Mission.
Frankly, playing at a gig with The Cult never appealed to me in the first place. The only reason we allowed ourselves to be talked into it was to blow both bands off the stage and to steal their respective audiences.
As the concert has been downgraded to a venue that we have recently headlined (and sold out) it doesn't make sense. In addition to this Gatherers would only get to listen to a one hour set.
Then there would be a problem with the dressing room and witnessing The Cult charge the fans $200 per head for a Meet and Greet.
Lastly, all their songs suck! They clearly have no integrity (they refer to their hometown as L.A.).
On a more positive note KJ will be recording in Argentina just after Christmas and Brixton Academy is booked for Spring.
I do believe the band will play a private gig at Metropolis Studios (London) which is of course open to all Gatherers (you are the first to know!).
I hope you are all as relieved as I am!
Black Jester
PS I don't want your money
PPS Life without KJ is unthinkable!"

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!
29 Sep 2012 John Cooper-Clarke
Norwich Arse Centre
30 Sep 2012 John Cooper-Clarke
Norwich Arse Centre
03 Oct 2012 Ultravox
Ipswich Regent
20 Oct 2012 Trivium
Norwich UEA
22 Oct 2012 Lacuna Coil
Norwich WhatACunt
25 Oct 2012 Hazel O'Connor
Norwich WhatACunt
26 Oct 2012 Bat For Lashes
Norwich UEA
31 Oct 2012 Fields of the Nephilim
Shepherd's Bush Empire
Moved due to the cancellation of the Sonisphere festival
11 Nov 2012 3OH!3
Norwich WhatACunt
21 Nov 2012 Adam Ant
Norwich UEA
21 Nov 2012 Peter Hook and The Light
Norwich WhatACunt
And what a cunt it is! Peter Hook, performing Joy Divisions "Unknown Pleasures" album, same night as Adam Ant. FECKARAMA!!
30 Nov 2012 The Damned
Norwich UEA
03 Dec 2012 Thin Lizzy
Norwich UEA
07 Dec 2012 Pout At The Devil
Norwich WhatACunt
11 Dec 2012 Human League
Norwich UEA
19 Dec 2012 Sleigh in the UK
The Wonder Stuff, PWEI and Jesus Jones!
Shepherd's Bush Empire
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Music

06 Aug 2012 Futile Combat
Skeletal Family
Re-Issue with extra tracks
05 Nov 2012 War Of The Worlds: The New Generation
Jeff Wayne's re-recording of his original album to work in more of the novel, with new sequences and revamped score. This Is NOT the live concert/show, but a new vision of the original concept album
Richard Burton replaced with Liam Neeson
David Essex replaced by The Kaiser Chief's Ricky Wilson
?? ??? 2012 Adam Ant Is the Blueblack Hussar in Marrying the Gunner's Daughter
Adam Ant
New Album - recently confirmed by Adam as a double album with 17 tracks. Presumably to be released to coincide with the tour later this year
Previously rumoured tracklisting (so 17 of these - but can say for certain Vince Taylor is a definite track!):
1. Hard Men, Tough Blokes, 2. punkyoungirl, 3. Rubber Medusa (aka Gun in My Pocket), 4. Cool Zombie, 5. Shrink, 6. Cradle Your Hatred, 7. Who's A Goofy Bunny, 8. Bullshit (a song about the internet), 9. When I Was A Sperm, 10. Dirty Beast, 11. How Can I Say I Miss You, 12. Marrying The Gunners Daughter, 13. Stay In The Game, 14. Valentine's Day, 15. Vince Taylor, 16. Vivienne's Tears, 17. Bumpy Capers, 18. Mios Agos Y, 19. Call Me, 20. Sausage, 21. Izzy Dizzy Bums, 22. Stand Up, 23. I Know, 24. Darlin' Boy
?? ??? 2012 Made Glorious
The March Violets
New Album!
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Games

31 Oct 2012 Assassins Creed III
?? Oct 2012 Silent Hill: Book of Memories
20 Nov 2012 Resident Evil 6
?? ??? 2012 Animal Crossing 3Ds
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Books

?? Aug 2012 No Sharks in the Med and Other Stories
Lumley, Brian
1. Fruiting Bodies, 2. The Sun, the Sea, and the Silent Scream, 3. The Picnickers, 4. The Viaduct, 5. The Luststone, 6. The Whisperer, 7. No Sharks in the Med, 8. The Pit-Yakker, 9. The Place of Waiting, 10. The Man Who Killed Kew Gardens, 11. My Thing Friday, 12. The Disapproval of Jeremy Cleave
06 Sep 2012 The Educated Ape and Other Wonders of the Worlds
Rankin, Robert
?? Nov 2012 Blake's 7: Archangel
Harrison, Scott
New B7 novel set between series 2 episodes 6 (Trial) and 7 (Killer)
?? ??? 2012 The Mechanical Messiah and Other Marvels of the Modern Age
Rankin, Robert
?? ??? 2012 e-Book back Catalogue
Lumley, Brian - in negotiations
?? ??? 2012 Necroscope: The Möbius Murders
Lumley, Brian
01 Jan 2013 Sisterhood of Dune
Herbert, Brian & Anderson, Kevin J.
13 May 2013 Blood of Dragons
Robin Hobb
?? ??? ???? The Chickens of Atlantis and other Foul and Filthy Fiends
Rankin, Robert
?? ??? ???? The Crow
Shirley, John. New graphic Mini-series, set in Tokyo
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Audiobooks

31 Aug 2012 Blake's 7: The Liberator Chronicles #2
1. The Magnificent Four, 2. False Positive, 3. [tba].
Features original cast members Gareth Thomas, Paul Darrow and Jan Chappell reprising their roles as Roj Blake, Kerr Avon and Cally
?? Feb 2013 Retromancer
Robert Rankin adaptation in 13 half-hour episodes. To be aired on BBC Radio Feb 2013
?? ??? 2013 Blake's 7: The Liberator Chronicles #3
1. [tba], 2. [tba], 3. [tba].
Features original cast members Gareth Thomas, Paul Darrow, Michael Keating, Jan Chappell, Stephen Greif & Jacqueline Pearce reprising their roles as Roj Blake, Kerr Avon, Vila Restal, Cally, Travis and Servalan
?? ??? 2013 Blake's 7: The Liberator Chronicles #4
See Liberator Chronicles #3 above
?? ??? 2013 Blake's 7: The Liberator Chronicles #5
See Liberator Chronicles #3 above
?? ??? 2013 Blake's 7: The Liberator Chronicles #6
See Liberator Chronicles #3 above
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TV

?? Sep 2012 Revolution
From the creators of Lost & Supernatural. An EMP wipes all power on earth. Forever. Post-apocalyptic type shennanigans?
31 Oct 2012 Secret Of Crickley Hall
Showing in UK on: BBC
Autumn 2012 Red Dwarf
Showing in UK on: Dave.
New Series (The Xym hath never watched it, so may have to start)
Latter 2012 Primeval: New World
Latter 2012 Walking Dead (Series 3)
?? ??? 2012 American Horror Story (series 2)
To be set in the 1960s. In a loony bin… sorry, Asylum. To be an anthology series…
?? ??? 2012 The Best Possible Taste
BBC4 - 90min Kenny Everett Biopic
?? ??? 2012 Sinbad
New mini-series
SPRING 2023 Game Of Thrones (series 3)
Series three to be A Storm Of Swords, Part 1
?? ??? ???? A.L.F.
Yes, they're bringing back ALF from 1980s Melmak…
?? ??? ???? American Gods
HBO mini series being adapted by Neil Gaiman. Produced by Tom Hanks.
?? ??? ???? Bates Motel
Psycho: Norman Bates, The Early Years… oh dear…
?? ??? ???? Exorcist: The Beginning
Spin-off series
?? ??? ???? Gotham
?? ??? ???? Grimm (Series 2)
?? ??? ???? Journey To The West
13 part serial being adapted by Neil Gaiman. Probably better known as Monkey! in the UK
?? ??? ???? Stephen King's Under The Dome
Scripted by one of the writers of Lost…
?? ??? ???? Mockingbird Lane
Remake of The Munsters. Eddie Izzard as Grandpa, Jerry O'Connell as Herman, Mason Cook as Eddie
?? ??? ???? New Nabors
A family's neighbours turn out to be The Muppets! What's not to like!!
?? ??? ???? Once Upon A Time (Series 2)
?? ??? ???? 666 Park Avenue
?? ??? ???? Space 2099
Yes, they're rebooting Gerry Anderson's Space 1999 in a new century…
?? ??? ???? Star Wars: Underworld
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Films In Development

?? ??? 2012 .[rec]4: Apocalypse
?? ??? 2012 Bill & Ted #3
?? ??? 2012 Dracula 3D
BY DARIO ARGENTO! With Rutger Hauer as Van Helsing, and... ♥♥♥ASIA ARGENTO♥♥♥☺ as Lucy!!
?? ??? 2012 Mama
New spooky Guillero del Toro movie.
?? ??? 2012 Smiley
?? ??? 2012 Thale
Follow up to Troll Hunter, this time with Huldra instead of Trolls. Released in Norway on 17th Feb 2012
?? ??? 2013 Day of the Triffids
Sam "Evil Dead" Raimi producing
?? ??? 2013 Frozen
Interpretation of Hans Christian Andersons "Snow Queen"
?? ??? 2013 Girl Who Played With Fire
David Fincher's remake of the 2nd Millenium Movie
?? ??? 2013 Last Voyage of the Demeter
The bit in Dracula where The Count travels in his coffin from Transylvania to England. Expanded into a movie with Viggo "Aragorn, son of Arathorn" Mortensen
?? ??? 2013 Pride and Prejudice... and Zombies
?? ??? 2013 Rentaghost: The Movie
Russell Brand has been replaced by Ben Stiller as Fred Mumford
?? ??? 2013 Short Circuit
Remake. Oh Mr Johnny Five, this good news, no?
?? ??? 2013 Stephen King's The Stand
Remake - latest is that it may be split into several films or another mini-series.
?? ??? 2013 Suspiria
Back on again (probably without Natalie Portman now)
?? ??? 2013 The World's End
Final part in Pegg/Frost's Blood & Ice Cream trilogy
?? ??? 2014 Godzilla
Warner Brothers reboot. Again.
?? ??? 2014 The Night Stalker
Johnny Depp as Kolchak in the film adap of the series
?? ??? 2014 Woman in Black: Angels of Death
Hammer's [unnecessary] sequel to The Woman In Black set 20 years later…
?? ??? 2014 Zorro Reborn
"The Fox" is rebooted!
?? ??? 2015 Doctor Who
David "Harry Potter" Yates taking it on
?? ??? 2015 Avatar 2
?? ??? ???? Atlantis Rising
Comic book adap - may be a miniseries?
?? ??? ???? Assassins Creed
Michael Fassbender to star as Altair
?? ??? ???? Avatar 3
?? ??? ???? Avatar 4
Only a possibility of Avatar 4 at moment
?? ??? ???? Beetlejuice 2
Tim Burton back at the helm, and Michael Keaton now signed on to reprise role as Beetlejuice! Written by Seth Grahame-Smith, author of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, etc
?? ??? ???? Blade Runner 2
No prequel, and Harrison Ford WON'T be in it… unless Ridley decides he can have a brief cameo.
?? ??? ???? Boy Scouts vs Zombies
Jesus. It gets worse…
?? ??? ???? Carpe Diem: The Adventures of a Demon Hunting Soccer Mom
With a title like that, I gotta see it!
?? ??? ???? The Crow
Legal details now resolved, so reboot going ahead. Can't see this being an improvement on the original.
?? ??? ???? Dinosaurs vs Aliens
Barry Sonnenfield directing Grant Morrisson's adap of his graphic novel
?? ??? ???? Exists
Sasquatch hunts humans. From the people who brought you The Blair Witch Project. Oh dear.
?? ??? ???? Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest
Remake of the 3rd Millenium Movie
?? ??? ???? The Graveyard Book
Henry Selick adapting another Neil Gaiman book.
?? ??? ???? Hallowe'en
Another reboot - can't be worse than the Rob Zombie mess
?? ??? ???? Highlander
Reboot up again…
?? ??? ???? The Hobbit Part 3
NOW OFFICIALLY CONFIRMED! The Hobbit WILL be a trilogy!
Peter Jackson considering whether to split the current two movies into three. Whilst the cast & sets are still about, and there's too much footage for 2 films, they're discussing the practicalities of quickly shooting more footage.
?? ??? ???? Hulk 3
?? ??? ???? Hunger Games 3: Mockingjay
Rumoured to be split into 2 movies, like Potter/Twilight to eke out as much cash from the franchise as possible…
?? ??? ???? Human Centipede III: Final Sequence
Yes, it's been scripted and the cast signed on to reprise their HC2 roles…
?? ??? ???? I Am Legend 2
How can he be a legend again? Oh, he wasn't in the first film either… JUST MAKE "I AM LEGEND" PROPERLY!
?? ??? ???? Stephen King's 'IT'
Back on again! Cary Fukunaga relaces David Kajganich as writer, and becomes director. Also, it's being split into 2 movies (like the mini-series, then!)
?? ??? ???? Jitters
Giant killer insects…
?? ??? ???? Jurassic Park 4
Kicking off a new trilogy… oh dearie me…
?? ??? ???? Kick Ass 2: Balls To The Wall
?? ??? ???? Little Shop Of Horrors
Remake of the Musical version, developed by (and starring) Joseph Gordon-Levitt
?? ??? ???? Logan's Run
Rumour is the remake's back on again…
?? ??? ???? Monsters: Dark Continent
Sequel to Monsters. As of the original borefest wasn't enough tedium for anyone, they want to bore us to death again!
?? ??? ???? Monty Python's…
Untitled tale of aliens giving superpowers to a human for laughs. All the remaining Pythons… except, of course, Eric Idle who's refusing at the moment.
?? ??? ???? The Mummy
Part of Universal's 100 year celebrations, another reboot
?? ??? ???? Neuromancer
Adap of William Gibson novel
?? ??? ???? Night Of The Living
Tim Burton & Seth Grahame-Smith developing
?? ??? ???? Pinocchio
Tim Burton (NO Johnny Depp - Robert Downey Jr rumoured as Geppetto). Or, maybe not Burton now - rumour is that Guillermo del Toro has taken over, with Daniel Radcliffe and Tom Waits. In 3D
?? ??? ???? Poltergeist
Sam Raimi remaking
?? ??? ???? Here There Be Monsters
18th Century sea monster stuff
?? ??? ???? Shadow of the Colossus
Adaptation of the game
?? ??? ???? Time After Time
Remake of the 80s classic - Jack The Ripper escapes to modern times in HG Wells Time Machine, chased by… HG Wells himself!
?? ??? ???? Timecrimes
US Remake of the Spanish classic
?? ??? ???? Triplets!
Sequel to Twins! Schwarzenegger and DeVito discover their long-lost Brother (Eddie Murphy)…
Recently confirmed by DeVito as actually being in development. Oh dear….
?? ??? ???? X-Men: First Class 2
Given the go-ahead.
?? ??? ???? Van Helsing
Reboot, with Tom Cruise as Van Helsing…
?? ??? ???? Venom
Spidey-Man spin off
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In Limbo

IN LIMBO Akira
Production once again halted…
IN LIMBO At The Mountains Of Madness
Guillerro Del Toro's plans are ruined. Ridley Scott's Prometheus is more-or-lese the same concept.
IN LIMBO Chrome
Pendragon Pictures sci-fi flick
IN LIMBO Forbidden Planet
Remake written & directed by Babylon 5's J. Michael Straczynski
IN LIMBO Ghostbusters 3
Officially dead. Bill Murray has said NO WAY, and unless he's on board, there will be no movie
IN LIMBO Good Omens
Gaiman/Pratchett movie adaptation to be directed by Terry Gilliam
IN LIMBO Hawk The Hunter
Sequel to Hawk The Slayer, currently awaiting funding.
IN LIMBO Hawk The Destroyer
Final in the Hawk trilogy. Presumably waiting for funding, or after Hawk The Hunter
IN LIMBO Myst
Latest movie news October 2011: "Much has happened over the past few months and we will let you know what’s going on, but now is not the appropriate or best time"
IN LIMBO Necroscope
Script written and film "being worked on"… but no news for months
IN LIMBO Neverwhere
Gaiman movie adaptation awaiting a director
IN LIMBO Power of the Dark Crystal
Sequel to The Dark Crystal
Back on hold as of 21 Feb 2012, as OmniLab cut all funding due to the failure of their crap film 'The Killer Elite'. The Henson Group may speak to them later in 2012 about further development, or seek a new partner, or can the whole project. Again.
IN LIMBO Sandman
Gaiman TV Series adaptation awaiting a suitable director - Eric Kripke (Supernatural) was promising, but eventually turned down.
IN LIMBO Tripods, The
Movie adaptation of the trilogy, re-set in America.
IN LIMBO Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me, Teresa Banks And The Last Seven Days Of Laura Palmer
Remastered DVD/Blu-Ray with deleted scenes
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Last month

27 Jul 2012 Dr Seuss' The Lorax
"I am the Lorax! I speak for the trees,
Which you seem to be chopping as fast as you please;
But I also speak for the brown Barbaloots,
Who frolicked and played in their Barbaloot suits,
Happily eating Truffula fruits."
20 Jul 2012 The Dark Knight Rises
Anne Hathaway cast as Catwoman
13 Jul 2012 Adam Ant
Ipswich
09 Jul 2012 Absentia
David Lynch style spooky strangeness!
04 Jul 2012 The Amazing Spider-Man 3D
I held off putting this on my list of exciting stuff, as another reboot of Spidey does not excite The Xym. Think I may retitle it to list of Interesting Stuff!
02 Jul 2012 John Carter
?? Jul 2012 Sinbad
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