Well, todays Blog would normally have covered last night's depravitations.
I would scar thy mind with the foul mouthed ranting from Joe Pasquale, squeaking abuse of the "Fuck of you fucking minge" variety.
I would poison thy mind with images of popular door-to-door entertainer Keith "Cheggers" Chegwin, dancing about in lather & chains & tight leather brief in his gay sex-dungeon.
I would further blind thee with images of a nudie Cheggers chopper, as his miniscule1 Tarzan's vine swings about the place in one-off gameshow Naked Jungle.
But not today. For today I have rantage.
I live in England, yeah. Now, England has an educational system. This system has a number of schooling levels you go through. To whit;
1. Nursery School
2. Primary School
3. Secondary (Modern) School
4. Grammar/Comprehensive School
5. (Sixth Form) College
6. Polytechnic/University
Now, our education system is so crap now, that some chavvy gormsers insist they go to High School. In England!
No - you don't, you cretinous fuckwit. AMERICA has High Schools. You go to a secondary school. Maybe even a Grammar or Comprehensive. And, despite what educational tellyshows such as Hannah Montana tell you, you're in the fucking 4th form, or Year 12, or something. NOT bloody "3rd grade", you illiterate titwank!
Jesus!
Now, this brainwashing of the mentally retarded has seeped into the School Disco. Remember them? Ah, the School Disco. The Leavers party. Seems like all the girls are preparing for the school disco.
Only they're not. They're preparing for their Prom. Their big "coming out" bash. Must have overelaborate ball gown!
No you fucking ain't! That's what AMERICAN's have! Not us Brits! The Proms in Britain is a classical Music festival in the Prince Albert Hall - not some popular American Lose-Your-Virginity fest.
Tell you what - don't heep banging on that immigrants should take a British Culture and Heritage test coz YOU'RE BLOODY PISSING ALL OVER THAT CULTURE/HERITAGE WITH AMERICAN TRAVESTIES! Fuck off over to America if you can't follow British Culture - deport yourself and live like them Yanks in their "High Schools". Yeah - you moan about these so called Muslims, flouting English culture and laws, whilst you undermine that argument by shitting over your own heritage by replacing it with American crap!
It's a slippery, dippery slope. First it's "High School", now we have a "Prom". Not long beore each Term becomes a "Semester", and then Headmaster/Headmistress will become a "Principal"...
..and then...
...oh then...
The dreaded Sorority and Frat Houses, populated by cunty twats of twattyness!
Non-stop pool parties at houses where parents are always away for the weekend (and by weekend, I mean ALL THE TIME). Inexhaustable supplies of beer. The non-Stop roasting of strippers by Frat Boys bonding together. The Sorority Girls shagging the Jocks and being generic bitches to each other.
And then, it's only a matter of time before someone accidentally gets killed... in some abandoned house... on an Initiation Day... and they cover it up... and one by one, someone stalks them and kills them all off in diverse and improbable ways for an even more improbable reason.
Mind you, any Brit who claims to be going to a "Prom" in England deserves such a fate. Next British person who blathers on about their teenage daughters all-important non-British "tradition" can have a free punch in the tits and a kick up the clit.
I don't care how beautiful your daughters are, or how proud you are of them. I don't mind that. Just shut the fuck up about them going to the sodding Prom, coz we do not have them in England. It's an American thing. School Disco or Ball, that's what they're going to. Not a buggeryfucking prom night.
Bloody Prom indeed!
1THAT'S MINISCULE - NOT, AS PRETTIES THOUGHT MUSICAL, AS THEIR DEPRAVED SEXUAL FETISHES DWELT UPON HIS PINK OBOE AND THEIR WISH TO AKE IT IN THEIR MOUTHS, SPIT ON IT AND GARGLE-Y GAG ON IT LIKE LIKE HE WAS A FAT RUSSELL BRAND. OR LES DENNIS. OR SOMETHING.
