Cheque? Czech? Check? Cheque Checking...

Where the feck's my bank-ing books?

Damn you, Stamp Gnome!
a) I need to pay in a cheque tomorrow
b) I need to pay someone a multitude of monies

And I know EXACTLY where my paying in book is. And my cheque book.

Right there.

THERE!

But they're not there.

So turn the house upside down.

Nowhere.

But I keep them RIGHT THERE!

I go back there.

But they're not there.

So turn the house upside down.

Again.

Nowhere.

But I keep them RIGHT THERE! I DO!

Third time lucky... I go back there.

But they're not there.

But I ALWAYS keep them RIGHT THERE! I FUCKING BLOODY WELL DO! Just in case of emergencies!

Right. Turn out every drawer, cupboard, cushion, bookcase, file and folder.

Again.

Nowhere.

Right, back to the beginning.

But I ALWAYS keep them THERE! They must be there - they can't just...

oh...

...there they are...

...right in the first place I looked.

On their own.

    In plain sight.

        Unable to be missed.

So how the feck did I miss them again and again and again and ag-aaaaarrrrggghh!

Oh, so now you're playing mind-games with me, you philatelist færie!

This mean war!

I'll find you, you devious dybbuk!

Even if I have to hire a Private Investigate to find you!

Now, where's that number for Sherlock Gnomes...

A friend with breasts in leather (pure porning)...

Well.

Well, well, well.

Apparently, I'm going to be a witness!

Yay - I gets to be all Amish, with a manly beard, preposterous hat, all black, and being turfed out the barn for possessing some Wel Gel!

But then, how to spend the afternoon?

Bruce or Alice?

Time Travel action adventure, or Zombie Apocalypse?

Grizzled worn old willis, or 3D tight leather clad Jovovich (with Claire Redfield also in tight purple leathery catsuiteries?)

So, what did Xym see?

Well, it wasn't Looper, that's for sure!

3am internal...

Hello, Hello, what's all this blogging? We'll have no trouble here! This is a Local Blog, for Local People.

There's nothing for you here.

You come here from your Google+ and your Facebook and your Twitter. Take it away - we want nothing from you here!

I have spent 7 and twelvety hours trying to restore the magic shiny box of tinkly tunes, thanks the Strangers laying New Tracks.

For New Tracks hath wrought decimation unto the mechanical music box.

Well, my portable gramanophone is once again in working order, thanks to much rummaging about with restorative measures with background entertainments of Mau Mau to while away the lonely dawn hours.

Now leave.

You still here?

You... heard the visitor?

GET UNDRESSED!

Look at the stars, see how your 'pod ih-is screwed...

coz you've imported poo

yeah it's all the color of once-white, now piss-stained, pants!

As all know, I used to loathe C******y with a passion, believing Chris Martin to be a total twat and his musical muppetries somewhat bland and insipid, bereft of creativity or inspiration. However, after attending the pair o' limp pigs closing ceromony, I had a whale of a time and had to begrudgingly admit that Coldplay¹ weren't that bad really.

So, whilst visting my pair o' limp pig participating Pretty and her husband to watch dismbodied psychopathic schlongs and murderous mental orientals, my mammary stick was topped up with:
► Lots of pair o' limp pig athletic pics
► Lots of pair o' limp pig closing ceremony
► Large collection of nudie modelling lingerie snaps²
► 5 C******y albums to sample (as The Xym would never, ever have them. Unless under duress. At gunpoint. With my cock in clamps and threatened with castration.)

So, import into iTunes. Connect iPod. Synch. Update. Transfer. Update. Transfer. Synch complete. Detach. Shut down.

So far, so good.

This morning, decide to try the New & Improved³ Purple Line, and relax to the Olympian Nostalgia with the Too Cold To Play (Coz Me Fingers Freeze So I Can't Use The Touch Screen. Which has to be better than touching cloth on the bus. Or something.)...

...what's this?

Panic! Lemme just check my Other Media... Videos! I'll have a watch of Labyrinth on the bus instead...

AAAAARRRRGGGHH!

All me music - gone!

All me films and music videos - gone!

Cocking C******y have killed my iPod! My speakers have committed suicide rather than emit the aural pollution of Paltrow's porking partner and get an STD⁴ virus from some form of Chris Martin Infection.

And what did Mr & Mrs Martin name their kids? Moses and... APPLE! No wonder the 'pod topped itself! Not only would it have to play the dreadful dirges of dire depressive doom, it knows that the cunty composer named it's sproglet after it!

I would take it down to the Apple Genius Bar to see if they can fix it... but then I would have to embarass myself by admitting to the ignomy of putting C******y on my 'pod:

"So, Xym. Your pod has died. Did you do anything stupid, like drop it down the toilet? Don't laugh - people do. What? You put C******y on it? You deserve everything you get you sick fuck! Get out of our shop and never purchase an Apple product ever again!"

¹ URGH! I TYPEDED IT! NOW I HAS TO DISINFECT ME KEYBOARD!

² SOMEHOW, SHE MUST HAVE FORGETTEN TO TRANSFER THESE ONTO THE MAMMARY STICK. I SHALL HAVE TO TAKE IT UP WITH HER LATER! AND BY "TAKE IT UP WITH HER", I MEAN... etc, etc...

³ WHICH NOW START OVER AN HOUR LATER IN THE MORNINGS, REDUCE THE NUMBER OF BUSES FROM FROM EVERY 20 MINS TO EVERY 30 MINS, AND SHORTEN THE ROUTE. SO... 14 LESS BUSES A DAY. STILL, AT LEAST IT DOESN'T TAKE SO LONG NOW, AND WE AVOID THE ESTATE CHAVSCUM... OH NOES! THEM PRETTIES ON THE OLD ROUTE... NOW I JUST GETS AGÉD OLD SCABBERS. BOO!

⁴ SPEAKER TRANSFERRED DISEASE

Xym's list of exciting stuff (Oct '12)

A list of upcoming stuffs what The Xym is sort-of looking forward to.

Jump to section:

Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month ---

Film

05 Oct 2012	Sinister Supernatural spookiness
12 Oct 2012	Hotel Transylvania Like ParaNorman… Dracula holds a birthday party for his daughter..,. WTF?!?! Well, it IS for kids, I guess…
12 Oct 2012	Smiley
17 Oct 2012	Frankenweenie Tim Burton's full length stop-motion movie (based on his short film)
19 Oct 2012	Paranormal Activity 4 More unscary bobbins. Honestly, three films of absolute shite, and a fourth? Oh well…
31 Oct 2012	Silent Hill: Revelation 3D
?? Oct 2012	Giant God Warrior Appears in Tokyo Studio Ghibli live action epic, directed by Hideaki Anno of Neon Genesis Evangelion! Trailer looks… suspiciously similar to Evangelion… paving the way for a full, live action version of Evangelion after 4.44 comes out?
16 Nov 2012	Breaking Dawn part 2 Thankful end to The Twishite Saga
14 Dec 2012	Hobbit #1: An Unexpected Journey
20 Dec 2012	Frozen Interpretation of Hans Christian Andersons "Snow Queen"
?? ??? 2012	Dario Argento's Dracula 3D Premiered 19 May 2012 - still awaiting UK release date...
?? ??? 2012	Thale Follow up to Troll Hunter, this time with Huldra instead of Trolls. Released in Norway on 17th Feb 2012
11 Jan 2013	Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters I thought it was this year… apparently, it's next year. Bollocks.
11 Jan 2013	Les Misérables Movie of the Musical. Hugh Jackman as Valjean, Russell Crowe as Javert, Anne Hathaway as Fantine, Sacha Baron Cohen as Thénardier and... ♥♥♥HELENA BONHAM-CARTER♥♥♥☺ as Madame Thénardier!!
18 Jan 2013	Mama New spooky Guillero del Toro movie.
?? Feb 2013	Wreck-It Ralph Video Game boss escapes his game, and goes through the other games in the Arcade. Lots of classic game boss cameos…
08 Mar 2013	Oz: The Great & The Powerful Prequel to Wizard of Oz… by Sam Evil Dead Raimi!
22 Mar 2013	Jack The Giant Killer
?? Apr 2013	Oblivion
12 Apr 2013	Stephen King's Carrie Chloe Grace Moretz to play Carrietta White, Julianne Moore to play Margaret White
12 Apr 2013	Evil Dead Remake in progress.
26 Apr 2013	Iron Man 3 Plot based on the nanotech comic storyline Extremis
17 May 2013	Star Trek 2
23 May 2013	The Lone Ranger Johnny Depp as Tonto…
14 Jun 2013	Man Of Steel Zack Snyder reboots Superman…
12 Jul 2013	Monsters University Prequel to Monsters Inc.
12 Jul 2013	Pacific Rim Guillero Del Toro's Kaiju homage. Giant sea monsters awaken, only to be fought off by giant robots piloted by humans!
19 Jul 2013	Kick Ass 2: Balls To The Wall
26 Jul 2013	Wolverine, The Hugh Jackman in another X-Men sequel
?? Jul 2013	Robopocalypse Spielberg adap of Daniel H Wilson Rise Of The Machines type novel
09 Aug 2013	Robocop Remake… and Robocop will have a visor so you can see Murphy's eyes/face. Gary Oldman cast (prob not as Murphy tho')
14 Aug 2013	The World's End Final part in Pegg/Frost's Blood & Ice Cream trilogy
04 Oct 2013	Sin City 2: A Dame To Kill For
08 Nov 2013	Thor: The Dark World Christopher Eccleston cast as Malekith
22 Nov 2013	Hunger Games 2: Catching Fire
13 Dec 2013	Hobbit #2: The Desolation Of Smaug
14 Mar 2014	Maleficent Angelina Jolie cast as Maleficient (looks awesome in the teaser pics)
04 Apr 2014	Captain America: The Winter Soldier
02 May 2014	The Amazing Spider-Man 2
23 May 2014	Planet of the Apes 2 Sequel to Tise of the Planet of the Apes being fast-tracked. Andy Serkis mo-capping again.
?? May 2014	Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Remember the recent relief that the reboot had been scrapped… it's back on again. Fuck. Let's hope they've dropped the Ninja Turtles created by Space Monsters twattery that cunted up the last reboot plot…
29 Jun 2014	Transformers 4
18 Jul 2014	X-Men: Days Of Future Past Or X-Men: First Class 2, if you prefer
21 Nov 2014	Hunger Games 3: Mockingjay pt 1
?? Dec 2014	Hobbit #3: There And Back Again NOW OFFICIALLY CONFIRMED! The Hobbit WILL be a trilogy!
01 May 2015	Avengers 2 Announced 8/8/2012 - Joss Whedon returning to write and direct!
20 Nov 2015	Hunger Games 3: Mockingjay pt 2
Jump to section:	Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month ---

Blu-Ray

01 Oct 2012	Child's Play
01 Oct 2012	The Terminator
08 Oct 2012	Prometheus
15 Oct 2012	American Horror Story (series 1)
15 Oct 2012	Hallowe'en 4 The Return of Michael Myers
15 Oct 2012	Hallowe'en 5 The Revenge of Michael Myers
15 Oct 2012	Dark Shadows
19 Oct 2012	Tetsuo: The Iron Man
19 Oct 2012	Tetsuo 2: Body Hammer
22 Oct 2012	Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
22 Oct 2012	Basket Case Trilogy
22 Oct 2012	Company Of Wolves
22 Oct 2012	Crawlspace Hopefully the Klaus Kinski movie
22 Oct 2012	E.T.: The Extraterrestrial
22 Oct 2012	Grimm (Series 1)
22 Oct 2012	Puppetmaster 2
22 Oct 2012	Puppetmaster 3
29 Oct 2012	Bladerunner
29 Oct 2012	Human Centipede 1 & 2: Steelbook
29 Oct 2012	London 2012: Olympic games BBC releasing DVD & Blu ray, included FULL opening and closing ceremonies
29 Oct 2012	London 2012: Paralympic games Channel 4 releasing DVD (only?). Content not yet specified.
31 Oct 2012	Basket Case 1 & 2: Steelbook CONFIRMED. 2 discs, Theatrical cut & Director's Cut, packaged in a 40 page book. Directors cut has the original ending, in color, mastered from the original color negatives!
31 Oct 2012	Little Shop Of Horrors: The Intended Cut CONFIRMED. 2 discs, Theatrical cut & Director's Cut, packaged in a 40 page book. Directors cut has the original ending, in color, mastered from the original color negatives!
05 Nov 2012	Men In Black 3: Steelbook
05 Nov 2012	Sante Sangre
05 Nov 2012	The Snowman 30th Anniversary Edition
19 Nov 2012	The Lorax
26 Nov 2012	The Amazing Spiderman Steelbook
03 Dec 2012	The Dark Knight Rises Not only a Steelbook, but there's a Broken Mask sculpted edition too (£45 off've HMV). Oooooh!
26 Dec 2012	Total Recall (the remake). Steelbook
?? ??? 2012	Dead Sushi A mad Japanese scientist injects a reanimatory agent into sushi, bringing it to life and going on the rampage! Psychotic seaweed wrapped rice with slaughterous seafood on the prowl! And they say there are no new ideas in film - killer sushi, who'd've thunk it!
?? ??? 2012	War Of The Worlds: The True Story Tim Hines accepts flaws on his original WotW, and does a much better job on this faux documentary
2012 - 2013	War of the Worlds: Goliath 3D Manga-esque steampunk sequel to WotW (sort of like Scarlet Traces). Release forever being put back…
?? ??? ????	Evangelion 3.33: Quickening
?? ??? ????	Kill Bill Redux Volumes 1 & 2 re-edited into one movie
?? ??? ????	Nightbreed: The Cabal Cut Remember Nightbreed? Snatched out of Clive Barker's hands and the last minute and butchered into a crapfest that made no sense, lost the whole plot and now impossible to get hold of? Well, Clive Barker recently found his VHS copies of the original footage that was thought lost. The film has been painstakingly reconstructed and re-edited to reflect the original vision. This "rough cut" is apparently really fucking brilliant, and pisses all over that shambles that was originally hacked to pieces for the original 1990 release. Obvs, as the extra footage is from Clive Barkers personal VHS collection, it's not great picture quality. However, turns out the "lost" footage isn't lost at all - Morgan Creek are still in possession of it! A negotiation has been agreed for them to release the footage for an uncut special Blu-Ray release... as long as they don't have to pay to produce it. WATCH THIS SPACE!!
Jump to section:	Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month ---

Gigs

03 Oct 2012	Ultravox Ipswich Regent
10 Oct 2012	The Fall & The Undertones Norwich Epic No, I never heard of it either! Down Magdalen Street, apparently.
25 Oct 2012	Hazel O'Connor Norwich WhatACunt
26 Oct 2012	Bat For Lashes Norwich UEA
31 Oct 2012	Fields of the Nephilim Shepherd's Bush Empire Moved due to the cancellation of the Sonisphere festival
03 Nov 2012	The Pistols Norwich WhatACunt
11 Nov 2012	3OH!3 Norwich WhatACunt
21 Nov 2012	Adam Ant Norwich UEA
21 Nov 2012	Peter Hook and The Light Norwich WhatACunt And what a cunt it is! Peter Hook, performing Joy Divisions "Unknown Pleasures" album, same night as Adam Ant. FECKARAMA!!
30 Nov 2012	The Damned Norwich UEA Support from The Dickies
03 Dec 2012	Thin Lizzy Norwich UEA
05 Dec 2012	Gary Numan Norwich UEA NOTE RESCHEDULED DATE!!!
07 Dec 2012	Pout At The Devil Norwich WhatACunt
11 Dec 2012	Human League Norwich UEA
19 Dec 2012	Sleigh in the UK The Wonder Stuff, PWEI and Jesus Jones! Shepherd's Bush Empire
Jump to section:	Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month ---

Music

01 Oct 2012	Very Best Of Alien Sex Fiend
01 Oct 2012	30 Something Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine 2CD Edition
01 Oct 2012	Bad Seeds: B-sides & Rarities Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds 3CDs
08 Oct 2013	Running In The Family: Deluxe Edition Level 42 3CDs
08 Oct 2013	Hello Pig! The Levellers 2CD Edition
08 Oct 2013	Levellers The Levellers 2CD Edition
08 Oct 2013	Levelling The Land The Levellers 2CD Edition
08 Oct 2013	Mouth To Mouth The Levellers 3CD Edition
08 Oct 2013	Zeitgeist The Levellers 2CD Edition
15 Oct 2012	Haunted man Bat For Lashes New Album!
15 Oct 2012	In Comfort EP Lydia Lunch: Philippe Petit
12 Nov 2012	iDos Green Day New Album!
23 Nov 2012	Set List The Anthology Sham 69
26 Nov 2012	War Of The Worlds: The New Generation Jeff Wayne's re-recording of his original album to work in more of the novel, with new sequences and revamped score. This Is NOT the live concert/show, but a new vision of the original concept album Richard Burton replaced with Liam Neeson Justin Hayward replaced by Take That's Gary Barlow Phil Lynott replaced by Maverick Sabre (who?) Julie Covington replaced by Joss Stone David Essex replaced by The Kaiser Chief's Ricky Wilson Chris "Thunderchild" Thompson replaced by Alex Clare (sung that "Too Close" song on the IE9 add)
?? ??? 2012	Adam Ant Is the Blueblack Hussar in Marrying the Gunner's Daughter Adam Ant New Album - recently confirmed by Adam as a double album with 17 tracks. Presumably to be released to coincide with the tour later this year Previously rumoured tracklisting (so 17 of these - but can say for certain Vince Taylor is a definite track!): 1. Hard Men, Tough Blokes, 2. punkyoungirl, 3. Rubber Medusa (aka Gun in My Pocket), 4. Cool Zombie, 5. Shrink, 6. Cradle Your Hatred, 7. Who's A Goofy Bunny, 8. Bullshit (a song about the internet), 9. When I Was A Sperm, 10. Dirty Beast, 11. How Can I Say I Miss You, 12. Marrying The Gunners Daughter, 13. Stay In The Game, 14. Valentine's Day, 15. Vince Taylor, 16. Vivienne's Tears, 17. Bumpy Capers, 18. Mios Agos Y, 19. Call Me, 20. Sausage, 21. Izzy Dizzy Bums, 22. Stand Up, 23. I Know, 24. Darlin' Boy
?? ??? 2012	Made Glorious The March Violets New Album!
14 Jan 2013	iTré Green Day New Album!
Jump to section:	Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month ---

Games

02 Oct 2012	Resident Evil 6
19 Oct 2012	Doom 3: BFG Edition Doom 3 revamped for PS3! Includes Ressurection Of Evil, PLUS Doom and Doom II…
31 Oct 2012	Assassins Creed III
?? Oct 2012	Silent Hill: Book of Memories
02 Nov 2012	Lego: Lord of the Rings
08 Nov 2012	Angry Birds: Star Wars
?? ??? 2012	Animal Crossing 3Ds
Jump to section:	Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month ---

Books

01 Oct 2012	Mars Attacks! 50th Anniversary Book detailing all the trading cards, and more
01 Nov 2012	The Educated Ape and Other Wonders of the Worlds Rankin, Robert
?? Nov 2012	Blake's 7: Archangel Harrison, Scott New B7 novel set between series 2 episodes 6 (Trial) and 7 (Killer)
?? ??? 2012	The Mechanical Messiah and Other Marvels of the Modern Age Rankin, Robert
?? ??? 2012	e-Book back Catalogue Lumley, Brian - in negotiations
?? ??? 2012	Necroscope: The Möbius Murders Lumley, Brian
01 Jan 2013	Sisterhood of Dune Herbert, Brian & Anderson, Kevin J.
?? Feb 2013	Blake's 7: Warship Anghelides, Peter. Expansion of the AudioDrama (eBook only). Fills in the gap beween series 2 & 3 (Episodes Star One and Aftermath)
13 May 2013	Blood of Dragons Hobb, Robin
?? May 2013	Blake's 7: Lucifer Darrow, Paul Picks up where the series left off - what happened to Avon!
?? ??? ????	The Chickens of Atlantis and other Foul and Filthy Fiends Rankin, Robert
?? ??? ????	The Crow Shirley, John. New graphic Mini-series, set in Tokyo
?? ??? ????	The Sandman Neil Gaiman - Yes, Neil is writing a new Sandman! This will cover the events Morpheus mentioned prior to his capture by Burgess. From Neil himself: "When I finished writing The Sandman, there was one tale still untold. The story of what had happened to Morpheus to allow him to be so easily captured in The Sandman #1, and why he was returned from far away, exhausted beyond imagining, and dressed for war. It was a story that we discussed telling for Sandman's 20th anniversary... but the time got away from us. And now, with Sandman's 25th anniversary year coming up, I'm delighted, and nervous, that that story is finally going to be told,"
Jump to section:	Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month ---

Audiodrama

?? Feb 2013	Blake's 7: The Liberator Chronicles #3 The Armageddon Storm Features original cast members Paul Darrow, Michael Keating, Jan Chappel and Tom Chabdon reprising their roles as Kerr Avon, Vila Restal, Cally and Del Grant
?? Feb 2013	Blake's 7: Warship See book above. Features original cast members Gareth Thomas, Paul Darrow, Michael Keating, Sally Knyvette, Jan Chappell & Jacqueline Pearce reprising their roles as Roj Blake, Kerr Avon, Vila Restal, Jenna Stannis, Cally and Servalan!
?? Feb 2013	Retromancer Robert Rankin adaptation in 13 half-hour episodes. To be aired on BBC Radio Feb 2013
?? ??? 2013	Blake's 7: The Liberator Chronicles #4 TBA
?? ??? 2013	Blake's 7: The Liberator Chronicles #5 TBA
?? ??? 2013	Blake's 7: The Liberator Chronicles #6 TBA
Jump to section:	Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month ---

TV

?? Sep 2012	Revolution From the creators of Lost & Supernatural. An EMP wipes all power on earth. Forever. Post-apocalyptic type shennanigans?
09 Oct 2012	The River Showing in UK on: SyFy
14 Oct 2012	Walking Dead (Series 3) Showing in UK on: FX
31 Oct 2012	Secret Of Crickley Hall Showing in UK on: BBC1
?? Oct 2012	Arrow Showing in UK on: Sky1HD from October, then Sky Living DC Characters feature in this Green Arrow adap. John Barrowman stars (bu not as Arrow)
?? Oct 2012	Misfits (Series 4) Showing in UK on: E4
Autumn 2012	Red Dwarf Showing in UK on: Dave. New Series (The Xym hath never watched it, so may have to start)
Latter 2012	Grimm (Series 2) Showing in UK on: Watch
Latter 2012	Primeval: New World
?? ??? 2012	American Horror Story (series 2) To be set in the 1960s. In a loony bin… sorry, Asylum. To be an anthology series…
?? ??? 2012	The Best Possible Taste BBC4 - 90min Kenny Everett Biopic
?? ??? 2012	Sinbad New mini-series
SPRING 2023	Game Of Thrones (series 3) Series three to be A Storm Of Swords, Part 1
?? ??? ????	A.L.F. Yes, they're bringing back ALF from 1980s Melmak…
?? ??? ????	American Gods HBO mini series being adapted by Neil Gaiman. Produced by Tom Hanks.
?? ??? ????	Bates Motel Psycho: Norman Bates, The Early Years… oh dear…
?? ??? ????	Blake's 7 Another potential reboot. This time optioned to the US.
?? ??? ????	Dracula 10 part series featuring Jonathan Rhys Meyers as The Count
?? ??? ????	Exorcist: The Beginning Spin-off series
?? ??? ????	Gotham
?? ??? ????	Journey To The West 13 part serial being adapted by Neil Gaiman. Probably better known as Monkey! in the UK
?? ??? ????	Stephen King's Under The Dome Scripted by one of the writers of Lost…
?? ??? ????	Mockingbird Lane Remake of The Munsters. Eddie Izzard as Grandpa, Jerry O'Connell as Herman, Mason Cook as Eddie
?? ??? ????	Neighbours A family move into a new neighbourhood, where the residents are all aliens…
?? ??? ????	New Nabors A family's neighbours turn out to be The Muppets! What's not to like!!
?? ??? ????	Once Upon A Time (Series 2) Showing in UK on: Fi5e
?? ??? ????	S.H.I.E.L.D. Joss Whedon's telly spin-off from The Avengers (Assemble)
?? ??? ????	666 Park Avenue Showing in UK on: ITV2
?? ??? ????	Space 2099 Yes, they're rebooting Gerry Anderson's Space 1999 in a new century…
?? ??? ????	Star Wars: Underworld
Jump to section:	Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month ---

Films In Development

?? ??? 2012	[●REC]4: Apocalypse
?? ??? 2012	Exists Sasquatch hunts humans. From the people who brought you The Blair Witch Project. Oh dear.
?? ??? 2012	Bill & Ted #3
?? ??? 2013	Day of the Triffids Sam "Evil Dead" Raimi producing
?? ??? 2013	Dominion: Dinosaurs vs Aliens Barry Sonnenfield directing Grant Morrisson's adap of his graphic novel
?? ??? 2013	Dracula Eli Roth directing Russell Crowe as Drac…
?? ??? 2013	Girl Who Played With Fire David Fincher's remake of the 2nd Millenium Movie
?? ??? 2013	Human Centipede III: Final Sequence Yes, it's been scripted and the cast signed on to reprise their HC2 roles…
?? ??? 2013	Last Voyage of The Demeter The bit in Dracula where The Count travels in his coffin from Transylvania to England. Expanded into a movie with Viggo "Aragorn, son of Arathorn" Mortensen
?? ??? 2013	Pride and Prejudice... and Zombies
?? ??? 2013	Rentaghost: The Movie Russell Brand has been replaced by Ben Stiller as Fred Mumford
?? ??? 2013	Short Circuit Remake. Oh Mr Johnny Five, this good news, no?
?? ??? 2013	Stephen King's The Stand Remake - latest is that it may be split into several films or another mini-series.
?? ??? 2013	Suspiria Back on again (probably without Natalie Portman now)
?? ??? 2014	Godzilla Warner Brothers reboot. Again.
?? ??? 2014	Jurassic Park 4 Kicking off a new trilogy… oh dearie me…
?? ??? 2014	The Night Stalker Johnny Depp as Kolchak in the film adap of the series
?? ??? 2014	Pinocchio Guillermo del Toro directing
?? ??? 2014	Woman in Black: Angels of Death Hammer's [unnecessary] sequel to The Woman In Black set 20 years later…
?? ??? 2014	Zorro Reborn "The Fox" is rebooted!
?? ??? 2015	Avatar 2
?? ??? 2015	Doctor Who David "Harry Potter" Yates taking it on
?? ??? ????	Abarat Adap of books 1 & 2 of Clive Barker's series. To be produced once books 3 & 5 published.
?? ??? ????	Atlantis Rising Comic book adap - may be a miniseries?
?? ??? ????	Assassins Creed Michael Fassbender to star as Altair
?? ??? ????	Avatar 3
?? ??? ????	Avatar 4 Only a possibility of Avatar 4 at moment
?? ??? ????	Batman Reboot (for a change!). Apparenly, due to the Avengers success, this one is to begin setting up a JLA movie.
?? ??? ????	Beetlejuice 2 Tim Burton back at the helm, and Michael Keaton now signed on to reprise role as Beetlejuice! Written by Seth Grahame-Smith, author of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, etc
?? ??? ????	Blade Runner 2 No prequel, and Harrison Ford WON'T be in it… unless Ridley decides he can have a brief cameo.
?? ??? ????	Boy Scouts vs Zombies Jesus. It gets worse…
?? ??? ????	Carpe Diem: The Adventures of a Demon Hunting Soccer Mom With a title like that, I gotta see it!
?? ??? ????	The Crow Legal details now resolved, so reboot going ahead. Can't see this being an improvement on the original.
?? ??? ????	Fantastic Four Reboot…
?? ??? ????	Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest Remake of the 3rd Millenium Movie
?? ??? ????	The Graveyard Book Henry Selick adapting another Neil Gaiman book.
?? ??? ????	Hallowe'en Another reboot - can't be worse than the Rob Zombie mess
?? ??? ????	Hellboy 3 Guillermo Del Toro has started work on it!
?? ??? ????	Here There Be Monsters 18th Century sea monster stuff
?? ??? ????	Highlander Reboot up again…
?? ??? ????	Hulk 3
?? ??? ????	I Am Legend 2 How can he be a legend again? Oh, he wasn't in the first film either… JUST MAKE "I AM LEGEND" PROPERLY!
?? ??? ????	Stephen King's 'IT' Back on again! Cary Fukunaga relaces David Kajganich as writer, and becomes director. Also, it's being split into 2 movies (like the mini-series, then!)
?? ??? ????	Jitters Giant killer insects…
?? ??? ????	Little Shop Of Horrors Remake of the Musical version, developed by (and starring) Joseph Gordon-Levitt
?? ??? ????	Logan's Run Rumour is the remake's back on again…
?? ??? ????	Monsters: Dark Continent Sequel to Monsters. As of the original borefest wasn't enough tedium for anyone, they want to bore us to death again!
?? ??? ????	Monty Python's… Untitled tale of aliens giving superpowers to a human for laughs. All the remaining Pythons… except, of course, Eric Idle who's refusing at the moment.
?? ??? ????	The Mummy Part of Universal's 100 year celebrations, another reboot
?? ??? ????	Myst Right. Latest is that there were… disagreements... on how to proceed. Those set on adapting The Book Of Ti'ana, and who though that wasn't a good introduction to Myst and wanted a new direction. Acrimonious splits ensued. When film the rights came to the end of the option period, a second lease was refused, and the option has been passed to Delve Films. Amongst the bitching, the film is slowly being developed again... but I wouoldn't hold my breath if I were me!
?? ??? ????	Neuromancer Adap of William Gibson novel
?? ??? ????	Night Of The Living Tim Burton & Seth Grahame-Smith developing
?? ??? ????	Poltergeist Sam Raimi remaking
?? ??? ????	Prometheus 2 Script now being written…
?? ??? ????	Shadow of the Colossus Adaptation of the game
?? ??? ????	Tape 4 Some Lovecratian terror!
?? ??? ????	Time After Time Remake of the 80s classic - Jack The Ripper escapes to modern times in HG Wells Time Machine, chased by… HG Wells himself!
?? ??? ????	Timecrimes US Remake of the Spanish classic
?? ??? ????	Triplets! Sequel to Twins! Schwarzenegger and DeVito discover their long-lost Brother (Eddie Murphy)… Recently confirmed by DeVito as actually being in development. Oh dear….
?? ??? ????	Tron 3 Confirmed by Bruce Boxleitner!
?? ??? ????	Van Helsing Reboot, with Tom Cruise as Van Helsing…
?? ??? ????	Venom Spidey-Man spin off
?? ??? ????	Videodrome Remake back on the table…
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In Limbo

IN LIMBO	Akira Production once again halted…
IN LIMBO	At The Mountains Of Madness Guillerro Del Toro's plans are ruined. Ridley Scott's Prometheus is more-or-lese the same concept.
IN LIMBO	Chrome Pendragon Pictures sci-fi flick
IN LIMBO	Stephen King's The Dark Tower Dropped (again!). Hoping to be picked up by another company…
IN LIMBO	Forbidden Planet Remake written & directed by Babylon 5's J. Michael Straczynski
IN LIMBO	Ghostbusters 3 Officially dead. Bill Murray has said NO WAY, and unless he's on board, there will be no movie
IN LIMBO	Good Omens Gaiman/Pratchett movie adaptation to be directed by Terry Gilliam
IN LIMBO	Hawk The Hunter Sequel to Hawk The Slayer, currently awaiting funding.
IN LIMBO	Hawk The Destroyer Final in the Hawk trilogy. Presumably waiting for funding, or after Hawk The Hunter
IN LIMBO	Necroscope Script written and film "being worked on"… but no news for months
IN LIMBO	Neverwhere Gaiman movie adaptation awaiting a director
IN LIMBO	Power of the Dark Crystal Sequel to The Dark Crystal Back on hold as of 21 Feb 2012, as OmniLab cut all funding due to the failure of their crap film 'The Killer Elite'. The Henson Group may speak to them later in 2012 about further development, or seek a new partner, or can the whole project. Again.
IN LIMBO	Sandman Gaiman TV Series adaptation awaiting a suitable director - Eric Kripke (Supernatural) was promising, but eventually turned down.
IN LIMBO	Tripods, The Movie adaptation of the trilogy, re-set in America.
IN LIMBO	Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me, Teresa Banks And The Last Seven Days Of Laura Palmer Remastered DVD/Blu-Ray with deleted scenes
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Last month

30 Sep 2012	John Cooper-Clarke
29 Sep 2012	John Cooper-Clarke
28 Sep 2012	Resident Evil: Retribution
28 Sep 2012	Looper
27 Sep 2012	Continuum
24 Sep 2012	Resident Evil: Damnation
24 Sep 2012	iUno
24 Sep 2012	Cabin In The Woods
21 Sep 2012	House at the End of the Street
18 Sep 2012	Judge Dredd
17 Sep 2012	Avengers Assemble
16 Sep 2012	The Cult
15 Sep 2012	Mortad
14 Sep 2012	ParaNorman 3D
07 Sep 2012	Dredd 3D
03 Sep 2012	Piranha 3DD
03 Sep 2012	Hunger Games
03 Sep 2012	[●REC]3: Genesis
Autumn 2012	Doctor Who
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