OK, so thinks start of all swell and excitable.
Despite an attempt to turn Xym gay by forcing him into the rôle of a hairdresser, El Xym is all excited for an array of Pirate Wenches!
But first - quaffage of peach cider then doon the pub!
New barmaid! hrrrrhrrrahwlnomnomnom!
And then WhatACunt!
But what's this? Blippety boppety non-Exile music? This is... different. Not liking it.
But wenches! Pirate wenches!
Further hrrrrhrrrahwlnomnomnom!
Ah - so that's why it's Exile! Xym is outcast, for everyone hath deserted him! Taken their leave and departed in diverse directions! Legged it leaving a lonely Xym all alone!
Hours pass...
... clearly no-one has missed The Xym.
Ah, here's one!
The Xym is thinking of leaving...
Ooooh no! Why? Stay! Please do!
Yeah - I'll just go over here and
Hours pass...
Ah, here's a couple more!
The Xym is on the verge of leaving...
Ooooh no! Why? Stay! Please do!
OK, I'll think about it.
Hours pass...
The Xym is leaving. Hunt around for everyone to say goodbye. Track them down one by one...
"The Xym is leaving"
"Ooooh no! Why? Stay! Please do! Go on - stay! You'll be missed!"
"Well, no-one's missed me for the past 2 hours"1
"But it won't be the same without you!"
"Yeah - you've managed without me very well for the past few hours!"
"Is it me?"
"No - I'm just a misery-arse git, loathed and avoided by all!"
"Oh, right then. See ya!"
I think I'll be giving The WhatACunt a miss from now on....
I can't forget and I can't escape
this kind of warm kind of pain
I can't explain
Oh, I came here to feel this way
My feelings are dead
Nothing here is quite the same....
I think...
...Xym might...
...Xym might...
...be having...
....trouble...
...and...
...may...
...not be...
...appearing...
...in public...
...for a while...
...apart from...
...public engagements...
...such as...
...forthcoming weddings...
...but...
...probably...
...not much else...
1 APART FROM KELSO, MARGHERITA AND FEARME-BOTTOM
