coz you've imported poo
yeah it's all the color of once-white, now piss-stained, pants!
As all know, I used to loathe C******y with a passion, believing Chris Martin to be a total twat and his musical muppetries somewhat bland and insipid, bereft of creativity or inspiration. However, after attending the pair o' limp pigs closing ceromony, I had a whale of a time and had to begrudgingly admit that Coldplay1 weren't that bad really.
So, whilst visting my pair o' limp pig participating Pretty and her husband to watch dismbodied psychopathic schlongs and murderous mental orientals, my mammary stick was topped up with:
► Lots of pair o' limp pig athletic pics
► Lots of pair o' limp pig closing ceremony
► Large collection of nudie modelling lingerie snaps2
► 5 C******y albums to sample (as The Xym would never, ever have them. Unless under duress. At gunpoint. With my cock in clamps and threatened with castration.)
So, import into iTunes. Connect iPod. Synch. Update. Transfer. Update. Transfer. Synch complete. Detach. Shut down.
So far, so good.
This morning, decide to try the New & Improved3 Purple Line, and relax to the Olympian Nostalgia with the Too Cold To Play (Coz Me Fingers Freeze So I Can't Use The Touch Screen. Which has to be better than touching cloth on the bus. Or something.)...
...what's this?
AAAAARRRRGGGHH!
All me music - gone!
All me films and music videos - gone!
Cocking C******y have killed my iPod! My speakers have committed suicide rather than emit the aural pollution of Paltrow's porking partner and get an STD4 virus from some form of Chris Martin Infection.
And what did Mr & Mrs Martin name their kids? Moses and... APPLE! No wonder the 'pod topped itself! Not only would it have to play the dreadful dirges of dire depressive doom, it knows that the cunty composer named it's sproglet after it!
I would take it down to the Apple Genius Bar to see if they can fix it... but then I would have to embarass myself by admitting to the ignomy of putting C******y on my 'pod:
"So, Xym. Your pod has died. Did you do anything stupid, like drop it down the toilet? Don't laugh - people do. What? You put C******y on it? You deserve everything you get you sick fuck! Get out of our shop and never purchase an Apple product ever again!"
1 URGH! I TYPEDED IT! NOW I HAS TO DISINFECT ME KEYBOARD!
2 SOMEHOW, SHE MUST HAVE FORGETTEN TO TRANSFER THESE ONTO THE MAMMARY STICK. I SHALL HAVE TO TAKE IT UP WITH HER LATER! AND BY "TAKE IT UP WITH HER", I MEAN... etc, etc...
3 WHICH NOW START OVER AN HOUR LATER IN THE MORNINGS, REDUCE THE NUMBER OF BUSES FROM FROM EVERY 20 MINS TO EVERY 30 MINS, AND SHORTEN THE ROUTE. SO... 14 LESS BUSES A DAY. STILL, AT LEAST IT DOESN'T TAKE SO LONG NOW, AND WE AVOID THE ESTATE CHAVSCUM... OH NOES! THEM PRETTIES ON THE OLD ROUTE... NOW I JUST GETS AGÉD OLD SCABBERS. BOO!
4 SPEAKER TRANSFERRED DISEASE
