Where the feck's my bank-ing books?
Damn you, Stamp Gnome!
a) I need to pay in a cheque tomorrow
b) I need to pay someone a multitude of monies
And I know EXACTLY where my paying in book is. And my cheque book.
Right there.
THERE!
But they're not there.
So turn the house upside down.
Nowhere.
But I keep them RIGHT THERE!
I go back there.
But they're not there.
So turn the house upside down.
Again.
Nowhere.
But I keep them RIGHT THERE! I DO!
Third time lucky... I go back there.
But they're not there.
But I ALWAYS keep them RIGHT THERE! I FUCKING BLOODY WELL DO! Just in case of emergencies!
Right. Turn out every drawer, cupboard, cushion, bookcase, file and folder.
Again.
Nowhere.
Right, back to the beginning.
But I ALWAYS keep them THERE! They must be there - they can't just...
oh...
...there they are...
...right in the first place I looked.
On their own.
In plain sight.
Unable to be missed.
So how the feck did I miss them again and again and again and ag-aaaaarrrrggghh!
Oh, so now you're playing mind-games with me, you philatelist færie!
This mean war!
I'll find you, you devious dybbuk!
Even if I have to hire a Private Investigate to find you!
Now, where's that number for Sherlock Gnomes...
