I'm a little thief, this is how I feel...

♪ I'm cold and I'm ashamed

Swimming nudie in your pool

You're a rattlesnake

I'm already torn with your serpentine tempting, spawn of ye pitte! ♫

How come I never get burglarized like this?

Some bloke's pottering about, when here comes a young couple!

"Ooooh, " says the young lady, "I'm ever so hot and sweaty. Can we nip in your pool to cool down? Oh, and I like to swim all nekkid with me teats out and EVERYTHING!"

So naturally, the poor pool owner agrees, and the strumpet promptly disrobes and goes off a-swimming whilst her friend goes off to buy cigarettes.

Meanwhile, the pervy pool owner stands there ogling watching her wet snatch opening and closing as she kicks her legs about, as her busoms rise and fall in the water, cresting the wave. He's definately thinking about Breaststroke.

However, her partner in crime isn't purchasing fags at all. Oh no! They're rummaging about the house nicking all his stuff as he's distracted by nudie women swimming in his pool! On the poolside radio, the tinny sound of Jon Bang Tidy out of Bang Tidy is singing...

♪ She's gonna strip off

Because she's hot

It kinda makes a difference if she's nekkid or not

Her friend's a burglar

But that's alright, she's pure...

My cock has just shot!

whoa - Her tits are bare!

Whoa-oh! Answerin' mah prayers!

Was that her flange? I glimpsed it I swear!

Whoa-oh! Answerin' mah prayers
I Saw Quim With Hair
(Oo-wah oo-wah oo-wah oo-wah etc) ♫

And then she gets out the pool, rivulets of poolwater dripping over her pert, oiled assets, and pooling down her trim arsecrack as the sun sparkles off her firm, rounded, glistening glutes.

So what does Homeowner do?

Get's her a towel to dry off, and then she suddenly gets all wet again

So, after her second moistage, he escorts her off the premises. All ramrod stiff with sexual tension, what is his chat up line?

"Do you wanna come to church?"

Say WHAAAAAAT? You got a hot nudie lady, all heaving busoms and dripping quim, and all you can do is invite her to church?

There's no hope for some people!

Oh wait... Church.... all pædo priests and singing in the choir.... "Here, pretty pretty, I absolve thee of thy sins... now get in the Little Mermaid outfit and git in mah pool! My, You sure do have a purty mouth! Thass it Ariel, take it like Neptune's trident up the ass! Scream like a pig - that fat pig Ursula! Don't worry - the Vatican will cover up for me! Praise Jesus! Mah tadpoles are swimming deep into your bearded clam cavern. Ooooh yeah, baby. Hey.. who's that... oi! Stop nicking me stuff! Just you wait until I've chucked me muck up your denizen of the deep decoy whore here, and then I'm a-comin' for you. Pa - Git mah banjo string... outta Ariel's purty mouth" etc, etc