Anyhoo - the Sun has come out!
Curious that - what did I say yesterday? During the spawning of The Royal Lizardchild, it's all spooky hellstorms and frightening lightning, and now the aftermath of Antichristal awakenings has passed - glorious heatwave is the order of the day.
Made brighter by the arrival of The Messiah...
...or Alan Partridge, as he be known 'round there 'ere parts.
See - The World Premieré of Alpha Papa, the Alan Partridge movie, is being exclusively shown in the flea pit cinema in the
Unfortunately, people are flocking to This Event and The Coming Of The Messiah. Clearly this set of adoring aspostles have no clue as to the Partridge phenemona.
What would truly make this an epic World Premieré, would be farmers picketing the Hollywood - blocking the entrance with tractors. A flea-bitten rag of carpet instead of a red carpet. And a solitary old tramp with a dog onna string begging for cash by the car park. Maybe a group of 5 obsessive Radio Norfolk listeners eerily dressed like Alan. Some tumbelweed rolling through the Anglia Square.
Now that would be truly worthy of a Partidge premieré.
But no - Norfolk types ruin the facadé by hailing him as a celebrity.
Alan's supposed to be an offensive, cringeworthy, tactless git. Only in his own ego is he worshipped as a actual popular celebrity and oblivious to his unpopularity.
See - they should've put me in charge of publicity! A nationwide broadcast of a world premieré, and no-one turning up. Lots of scenes of the worst bits around Anglia Square. Totally in keeping with the mythos, not to mention hilarious.
Maybe that should be my next job - Doing Unimaginative Peoples Jobs for Them With Exceptional Brilliance!
But on the plus side - forget that Freddie Mercury out of Queen go-go gorilla - we now has a 54th new gorilla on the trail. The Partridge Gorilla!
Monkey Tennis anyone..?
