Apparently, Robert Galbraith isn't doing all that well as a writey man, what with his book languishing in the shit pile selling less than 500 copies in the whole wide world.
But suddenly, he's now got 500,000 orders, because Robert Galbraith isn't Robert Galbraith at all!
Oh no! Robert Galbraith turns out to be JK Rowling, and by this revelation, the book has gone from being absolute shite unworthy of being wiped with the smeariest of waxen papers, to a golden nugget of perfectly polished prose!
So you CAN polish a turd. Simply by saying you're JK Rowling, author of the poorly written popular scriptals "Harry Potter and the Predictable Plots".
But Ms Rowling is even more popular than you think! Forget pretending to be a writey man, take off that blonde wig, gaffer tape her tits flat, put her in a blue suit...
...remove the Rowling...
JK! JK In The USA? JK as in...
Jeremy Kyle!
Jeremy Kyle Rowling, roving the UK being a writey woman on trains, whilst preparing lie detector and DNA tests.
I knew he was the most Evil man on Earth, but trannying up in a long Blonde wig to write about schoolboys waving their wands about and being abused by potions masters? And then to reverse tranny the tranny to be a crime writey man?
But is it really Jeremy Kyle... is it yet someone else pretending to be Jeremy Kyle posing as JK Rowling masquerading as Robert Galbraith?
Do you really know where The Xym goes when you don't see him? Is he off down that MouseTurd TV1 secretly tarting up as Venessa Feltz pretending to be Jeremy Kyle posing as JK Rowling masquerading as Robert Galbraith as a secret identity to be later revealed in order to boost publicity for his blog
1 LOCAL TV FOR LOCAL PEOPLE WITH A SUSPICIOUSLY LOCAL AROMA. OR SOMETHING.
1 LOCAL TV FOR LOCAL PEOPLE WITH A SUSPICIOUSLY LOCAL AROMA. OR SOMETHING.
