Hot Dog!
Jumping for Albuquerque?
Jumping into bed for a rampant bout of mutual oral arousal, more like!
Of course, yesterday was the 4th of July when them Americans celebrate Will Smith punching a space monster in the face and dragging it to Area 51, before taking The Fly into space to put his Molecular Teleporter code into the mothership and saving all of humanity.
It's also the day them chunksters stuff their greedy fat hamburger fed faces full of food in eating competitions.
Because nothing says "Fuck you, betentacled space beasties" more than shoving 69 bangers in buns down yer cakehole in 10 minutes.
10 Minutes! Typical Americans. Brag brag brag. However, We Brits have Sting - and he can do 69 for days and days and days on end!
But not for days on end on the end of David Van Day's end. or something.
And unlike Jeff Goldbum, Sting won't kick over a prop bin, or smoke a fag against all his eco-principles just because he managed to download Angry Birds into an intergalactic menace's mainframe via a most convenient and compatible USB port.
Spielberg should make a porno of ET: Sting: The Extra-Testicle Tantric Something-or-other.
Only he'd have to photoshop out all the cocks and fannies and replace them with mobile phones like he did with ET. Not that ET had cocks and fannies - it had guns and gash. But without the gash. The film, that is - not ET himself. He had neither cock nor fanny. And bloody good job too, coz for most of the film he was all nudie.
Bloody intergalactic doggers - comin' over here, flashin' our wimmin' with their lack of genitalia and thieving off with our foliage. Not to mention forming symbiotic relationships with small boys, and falling in streams with their diseased grey flesh sloughing off into the creek to poison the reservoirs.
Them space monsters had better not think about forming a Xymbiotic relationship with me! The only biotic relationship Xym wants is a huge tub of Rachel's yoghurt...
...feel free to insert whichever definition of Rachel's yoghurt you deem (in)appropriate!
