I comes out of Specific Rimming, all aglow with excitement (despite the waffer thin plot and
Awesomeness personified! And apparently all half price from Morrissey if you have a gall stone. or something.
So, with scant brevity of time afore the last omnibus home, a quick run from The Shitty Centre Voo down to Riverside, and a fraught search of the Freisian Frozen Fluids Freezer.
♪ No, no,
No, n'no, no,
No, n'no, no,
No, n'no, no,
No, n'no, no,
No, no... no steak ice-cream!
Nom! Steak ice-cream
Goes straight to your thighs!
Yeo Valley's too cheap
Rachel's oversized¹
No steak ice-cream
(just) Rhubarb & Lychee
We'll eat what we want
From our BOGOFF shop spree, yeah
TECHNO! TECHNO! TECHNO! TECHNO!² ♫
And then, a wiser Pretty than Xym asked the initiating pretty:"they make steak and peanut butter flavoured ice cream???"
Well, duhr! That's what she said. Don't stop, to ask. I want ice-cream with steak and make it last (ooo-weee-oooooh!)! Hold up, what's her reply...
"no"
"Oh you mean you had a steak, and then had peanut butter ice cream"
"Indeed! Silly woman."
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
There's me, crestfallen and all folorn, amidst a tossed tower of tubs of tropical tasting icy treats (fig & coconut, lychee and lactate, garlic and herb, flange & batter, etc), and all the time the promised delicacy was naught but a misunderstanding of grammatical interpretation.
And so I had to strop off back to the bus stop, and sulk all the way home.
On the plus side, I can replicate the delectable dish! I do have a 500m tub of proppa pukka un-turkey twizzled Simply Irresistable Madagascan Vanilla sat in the freezer...
...so tonight, The Xym is going all Hester Bloomin'Marvellous and ordering in one of them there Pizza Slut Steak Supremes from Dominos, picking out the steaky bits and squishing them into the vanilla ice (nice, Baby!). I've also got a tub of that Reece's Pisses Peanis Buttocks, so I'll swirl some of that in too.
Finally, I shall sit down to watch The Apprentice on Ketchup TV with my home-made tub of Stalk & Pierce His Buttocks I-Scream. Or cream over a screaming Louisa Zissman smeared in a 50% stake and pee (not butt tear) ice-cream.
or something.
Nommables galore!
♪ Some people stop at nothing
If you're searching for steak ice cream
Lay down the law
Shout out for more...
...And I want MORE
...And I want MORE
(And I need all the steak I can get)
I want MORE
(And I need all the steak that I can't get with... me ice-cream. y'bastid.) ♫
- Swing Out Sisters Of Mercy: "Patricia Morrisson's Stopped Stocking Steak Sorbet"
¹ THE TUB! NOT A SPECIFIC RACHEL. RACHEL'S YOUGHURT COMES IN MAHOOSIVE TUBS. AS OPPOSED TO RACHEL'S MAHOOSIVE JUGS (IF YOU KNOW A RACHEL WITH MASSIVE MAMMARIES). OR SOMETHING...
² CUISINART TECHNO - BLENDERS! TWIN CURL CUTTERS! PUREÉ EMULSIFIERS! JUICERS! AND ABOVE ALL - ICE CREAM MAKERS!
