So said Babs in Wallace And Gromit's
But I guess someone else ain't too fond of gravy now, either.
Apparently, the OXO mum has been diagnosed with cancer.
Well, what do you expect, force feeding your family gravy for every meal?
"Mum, what's for breakfast?"
"Cornflakes..."
"Yummy"
"...with a gravy boat on the side. No milk for you - get that OXO down yer neck. I got to be a loose woman later this morning"
"Surprised you haven't got quim cancer then, you loose woman slaaaag with yer STD gravelpit gravy. Bitch. I want more than gravy every fucking mealtime. One day, I'll grow up, and I'll go all Jeffrey Dahmer on yer ass. Served up with a pint of OXO gravy. See how you like that, bitchfucker."
"What did you say?"
"Nothing mum. Just saying how great your lovegravy is! Mmmmmmm! OXO"
I don't know - I blame that Daily Fail. Just about everything gives you cancer these days. Bacon. Chips. Kevin Bacon. Cake. Eating a packets of fags. Even having tits or bollocks.
And now they're demonising gravy!
And I've just polished off some orange sheepherders pie... with gravy! Oh wail and misery! Which will I get cancer from - the poured over OXO, or the onion ring chaser?
Quite how some people stay in jobs is beyond me. I won't bore you with the details of yesterdays still-employed "skilled" retards who still can't figure out how to use eMail, but instead I'm moaning about them there cookery staffs.
A tray with orange Sheepherders pie (urgh), ballbearing peas (urghle), rock hard carrots (bleurgh), and (now cancerous) gravy generously ladled over the top....
...with a cup of onion rings.
Yes - a cup of onion rings! They even have cups of spicy twisty fries!
I'm no Gordon Ramsey, but even I know "Eff me. They've put the effin' onion rings in the effin' cups - the effin' drinks go in the effin' cups, effin' garnishes go on the effin' plates. What the eff is wrong with you? Is it all an effin joke? You're effin' sinking your effin' team! Oi! You! yeah, you - eff-face. Effin' come here. All of you. Get here now. Look at that. Effin' look at thaaaat. It's in an effin' cup for eff's sake. Eff me. The effers over effin' there are efffin' tipping theirs onto their effin' plates, like effin' McFries on that effin' "we all have effin' McEffers in common". Well eff you. you want McEffin cuntyburgers, you can effin' leave right now. You're effin' killing me, for eff's sake. There's no effin' passion. You've effin' given up. Effin' bounce back you effer. Now eff off.."
And then I was ejected from the canteen...
Cups of comestibles, indeed...
