You know that there Hell?
It's full of big ole meanie pants, all abusing each other.
And lording over the red hot pitchfork anal probes is Ole Lightbringer himself - Lucifer Morningstar.
Now, that miseryarse Yahweh cast him down into ye pitte for all eternitye for raising an arab spring up in Paradise, and it got me wondering.
Being King Of Inferni isn't much of a punishment - what, being crownded King? Lord of your domain to do as thou wilt?
Doesn't sound that 'orrible to me.
But then, I though more on it. After all, Ole Cloven-hoof (on which strumpet slappers destined for red-hot poker plugged poontang base their Primarché legwear to show off their deadly sin of Lust crotchables) was an Angel, so perhaps his punishment is more annoying and upsetting.
I reckon everytime there's a meeting Down Below, Lucifer has to put up with Beezlebub, Leviathan, Asmodeus and Mammon all gang up on him and call him girly names.
"Oi Lucifer! Lucifer! Lucy! Heh heh! You've got a right girly name, you has!"
"Shurrup you"
"♪ Lu-cy, Lu-cy, your name is Lu-cy! ♫"
"F'cough, y'bastards!"
"Hey, let's put Lucy in her dress and make her wear a bra!"
"Stoppit!" *blub*
"What? Is girlyboy gonna cry?"
"Stop bullying me :( I'm Satan, Lord of Darkness"
"No, you're Lucy, you're a girlie in a big girls blouse who's so scared of the dark you wet yer frilly knickers in fright!"
"I cast torment upon the wicked!"
"No you don't Lucy - you play with your dollies. Voodoo doll? It's a bloody Barbie in a pink dress, with the full playhouse set. And you subscripe to Barbie's Webpage"
"Stop picking on me or I'll tell me mum!"
"Ooooh, hark at her! She's going to run to mummy! Probably to get some Veet to get her hairy goatlegs all nice and smooth for the boys! Veet for Lucifer? Veet for Lucy's fur, more like! ♪ Hairy tits, hairy teats, Lucy ha-as hairy nips! ♫"
"Waaaaaaaah!"
"♪ Your name is Lu-cy! Your name is Lu-cy! You snog the bo-oys, with yer smelly fa-nny! Ner ner nee ner ner! ♫"
All in all, another fun day in Hell!
