Now, i'm no pervy pædo priest, but lately Those Who Don't Want Me To Reveal The Truth are slandering my name so that people will not listen to me revealing all about their nefarious works.
I was down at The Whatacunt on Saturday, and some chavscum accused me of being Gary Glitter!
I know I had endless numbers of drunken strumpets stroking my bountiful mane, and wondering in wonder at the cute crimpiness of my lush locks flowing in full follicle forestry about me bonce.
However, I didn't recognize any from JailBait Reef (Arrrrr!).
Then, today, someone commented that There's no party - like an S-Club Party!
To which I replied that surely, an S-Club Juniors party would be just like an S-Club Party.
And once again, I'm suddenly cast as a pædy perver of underage tribute acts!
I thought the squeaky clean S-Club were all twee and Jelly 'n' ice-Cream types, playing their bland banal hits, and therefore the minature version would be, to all in tents and porpoises, identical.
No so! Seems that an S-Club Party is somewhat different! Maybe S-Club Juniors were not formed as S-Club 8, but S-Club Ate Her Out!
Or something.
Did I miss something back then - what was the S in S-Club for? Sex Club? S&M Club? Sodomy Club? Why was there S-Club Search on telly, recruiting (trafficking?) underage innocents to replicate the sexual shennanigans of their older dogging counterparts?
Not a follower of manufactured poop idols, I assumed S-Club Juniors were there to capitalize on S-Club 7, and therefore blindly compared the two as being virtually the same. If I'd've known that such comparison of S-Club 7 & S-Club Juniors parties would lead to pædophillic accusations of pervature, I wouldn't have mentioned it!
Although thinking about it:
"S-Club, Gonna show you how..." - How to what, exactly?
"Reach for the stars... " - in orgasm?
"Ain't no party like an S-Club party..." - obviously not when the party's held in some torture garden with the fistings and the whippage (not to mention the whippets!).
It's a national disgrace! Why, it's almost a revisit to the 70s and Top Of The Tots and MiniPops!
Oops - better dash. Time for LazyTown...
Hello Stephanie...
