Personally, a movie about killer ants really should have giant ants in it - and I wasn't disappointed! Millions of tiny ants linking together to create a giant ant! Brilliant! Not only that, they made a computer out of ants, powered by ants, and a visual display composed of... ants in formation! Cool! And when they swarm, they can merge together to send out tentacles of ants, like the Cthonian children of Shudde-M'ell.
Or that watery thing in The Abyss! With extra feelers and tonguey bits.
And to cap it all, it was all organised by a space monster that legged it at the last minute! Giants ants, Space monsters, Babbage differants engines, and swarms of ants with tentacles raising into the air to snatch people and eat 'em all up!
It don't get much better than this folks!
Ah, but it does, coz the ants had become SELF AWARE!!! In a skynet type scenario, we had cross species communication! That's right - the ants were demanding that the Island be left to them, (via the use of pictograms on their pewter) and taking a young girl hostage! So, Our Heroes are released to put the proposal to the guvnor, whose response is...
"We are not going to negotiate with ants."
Fantastic! And all on the basis that the Island is his, and wants to nuke 'em. Never mind that he simply accepts that the plague of flesh eating ants are now intelligent beasties hell bent on island domination, and probably the world to follow. Shame the ants didn't know how to form the phrase MWAH HA HA HA in evil laugh terms.
However, I'm at a loss to why it was called The Hive. Swarms - check, and name checked. Nest(s) - check and name checked. Hives - not a mention. Although the bloke with an ant in his ear nibbling on his earwax and driving him loonytoons ended up with what could be hives on his face before the giant ants pincers closed in and he blew up.
Hives are for bees. Now, I must be getting on a bit, for I keep hearing this tune, and I must be mishearing the lyrics. All join in now:
Oh, what a glorious thing to be
A healthy, grown up, bzzzzy bzzzy bee
Whiling away the passing hours
Picking up the pollen from the cauliflowers
Pollen from cauliflowers? Surely not! But I listen, and listen, and it's deffo cauli's. And if it isn't. I can think of no other flour that sounds vaguely similar. So, I expect a raft of comments advising me how thick I am, and what the correct lyric is. Personally, I prefer not to know, as I like the comedy element of honey glazed florettes gracing the music hall community.
Now I know how Jean D'Arc felt...
...a bit fuzzy!
