Now, I understand peer pressure, and the demands on young trollops to look like hot harlots, but it appears fashion comes at a price.
And it appears to be £1.99 from Primark!
I alway was under the impression that clothes were to express your individuality, or to feel comfortable about yerself. So I am oft confused by these voluptuous vixens trying to be 'individual' whilst looking identical to all their mates.
But with these ludicrous outfits, some appear to designed to be worn at home. In yer bedroom. Whilst motionless. Take today, there were two instances of fashionistas making themselves look like retarded plebs*.
There's often a bunch of flirtation harridans loudly screeching at the 'well fit blokes wot are dead lush like' in these short airy skirts (the harridans, that is, not the blokes). Now, in order to wear such an item, there appears to be a posture to be maintained, in case a slight draught raises your skirts and flashes your arse all over the place.
In order to wear this fashion, you see these gaggles of girls, arms locked rigidly down their sides, ending in a clenched fist, gripping spare folds of skirt, and shufflling along coz you can't walk properly. Now, it can't be comfortable having to walk around like that all day, and you have to avoid anywhere with stairs. Still, I guess this is a minor inconvenience. Which leads me on to incident 2.
Hipsters and high waisted lacey pants/thongs!
Now, the point of hipsters is that they sit on your hips. But, being right on the hip have a tend to start to slowly drop further and further down. So, in order to wear hipsters, these tarty trollops have to walk around in practically a half-nelson, clutching on the back of their jeans to keep them up! And when they sit down in the coffee shop, it's a constant shuffle of tugging up the jeans followed by pulling the base of their top down ad infinitum.
Who'd've though Labourers Cleft would become a fashion statement!
And don't get me started on wraparound skirts, and them hideous crones that can't be arsed with safety pins, and walk round the city doubled over (or bent to one side), clutching onto the gap in case it blows open.
All aboard the Primark!
* THIS WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER AS A VIDEO BLOG, SO I COULD DEMONSTRATE HOW DAFT THE WALKING AND POSITIONS ARE. BUT I CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO CHARGE UP ME CAMCORDER, NOR SUBJECT YOU TO MY VAST TONNAGE AND HORRENDOUS VISAGE FILLING UP YER SCREENS.
