Yeah - that secret being using that there key to deny the Xym maximum biscuit consumption by using that there key to score off excess yums!
See, apart from Me, other lamentable losses are leaving Aviva. And this week another goes into The Beyond. And so they brough in Farewell Cakes (as opposed to the usual It's Monday Chocolates, It's Tuesday - Biscuits, It's Wednesday - Jelly Babies, It's Thursday - Jammie Dodgers & Haribo Starmix, or It's Friday - Bacon Rolls).
Anyhoo, amidst the gluttonous mountain of doughnuts (or donuts if you're an American who can't spell dough), bakewell slices, mini bites, flapjacks and token couple of apples, there came a bag of biscuits (or Cookies1 to our American cousins).
A big bag of gingybread piss-quicks. Elaborately carved in Samhainial fashion. Ghosts, pumpkins, bats, skulls, goblin ghoulies gobbling goolies...
...and from there my ire arose!
Nice chunky biccies, and someone's been gouging hollow channels into 'em to form bas-reliefs of witching hour motifs!
In other words, I'm getting less gingybread due to artistic engravement.
Now, I don't mind this in the Jammie Dodger, for although there is a hole in the middle, leaving you with less biscuit, that hole is filled with lovely jammy jam, giving you 100% bis squit satisfaction.
Actually, that's a bit of a lie, for often the jam sticks to the Jammie Dodger on top, so whoever gets the top Jammie Dodger often gets bonus jam on the underside of their buttery biscuit base, and the poor person to get the Dodger Below finds their Dodger to be a plain old Dodger with an airy hole and no jam.
See - they could have filled all the bits they carved out of the spooky gingybread with jam - make it all hallowe'eny bloody. But nooooo - someone decides to save money by carving grooves into cookies so I don't even get me moneys worth!
Bloody deficit cutbacks and political interferene on the obese by denying the decent, honest, law-abiding, hardworking, tax-paying family a full compliment of cookie.
Grrrrrr!
1 VIZ: COOKIE MONSTER. FAMED FOR HIS BALLAD DENYING ANY FORMS OF EDIBLE INTERVENTION. TO WHIT; ♪ THEY TRIED TO MAKE ME GO ON DIET, BUT ME SAY NOM NOM NOM! COOOOKIEEEE! NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM!! ♫
