Once again, the illiterate buffoons of the eReader discussion groups are up in arms.
This time over people using Pseudonyms.
"Why can't people use their own names? I don't understand why anyone would want to use anything than the name they were given?" quoth some (despite having obviously false ridiculous names).
Then, one troll provided the perfect prosaic reason for their use of a nom-de-plume1. Witness this verbose troll's supposed relevant contribution to using false names:
"I lurve you my little no voter! I bet you so cute in the morning with your little jimjams on...sitting there eating your chocopops!......dribbling little drops of milk down your new clean bib,...furry animal slippers waggling off your darling little white hairy legs....awwww! Bless! Kiss Kiss!
I imagine them (the no voters) sitting in a dark room, blinds down, with a bank of old style computers placed in a circle round a swivel chair....on top of each screen is a light..this flashes the moment someone posts on the forum...the chair with a cloaked figure slides across the room a wizened claw like hand darts from the folds of the bat like cape and a boney finger lands down on the "yes No" key...a cackle rises from the throat of a half hidden face that would strike terror into the bravest heart!......."Mwwwaaaa! the power!" in that split second an urge, stronger than cold black tea rises....and a mad dash for the toilet is called for...as two scrawny legs that wouldn't stop a pig in a passage scurry across the floor towards a cobweb infested closet...made it!"
Well, one had to make comment on such trollage. Why - doesn't this adequately demonstrate why trolls hide behind their laptops - to spew their bile and venom without fear of consequence.
And naturally, another came back with "Yeah, and you're really "The Xym" aint'cha!"
Well DUHR! Of course I'm THE Xym. A quick tour of Google quite quickly proves The Xym is The Xym2. Yes, my name is slightly longer, but I am referred to as The Xym due to the singularity of Xymness. And due to the uniqueness and high esteem one is held in, one is not just "The Xym" - one is THE Xym.
But apparently, I'm wrong. Dat is mah tag, innit!
Eh, whut? Tags are them there spraycanned graffiti names all over underpasses and desolate garage walls - The Xym is not a tag. I am human3... not a sewn in label in the seam of a shirt!
Anyhoo, I went through the Forum home page. 18 threads on there, and only 5 are unrelated to the forum.
Most of the normal, discussion threads - yep, mostly used by people with normal names. But the troll threads... oh dear. Hardly any with actual names - it's all preposterous pseudonyms.
And the content...
...well, let's just say some people should have stayed in school. Or they're at school, trolling on their phone. Only that can explain the retardery of some of their posts.
It makes you worry about the sanity of some people. It seems they're so mentally deficient, they must stay at home in darkened rooms, deperately thinking of something "clever" to type, and the best they can come up with is the barely literate ramblings of a loon!
"Much like this blog then, eh!" ← Reader's voice
Oi! Watch it!
At least this blog allows some form of intellectual stimulation with no constrained limitations. A dedicated forum for a specific device may limit the content somewhat, but the best these gormsters contribute is stuffs like:
"complain the bewildered bugs"
"Whatever happened to "Mr Pastry?"...eric I have to ban ya...the Goodies!!!???"
""Bzzz!" say the bees."
"Gin smells o perfume. All whiskys smell diferent"
All advice which, we can clearly agree, I can apply to my Kindle Touch when I get home! And they're at this all day!
Oh, but Amazon have a handy voting tip! You can get the trollcrap filtered out by voting posts that add nothing to the discussion as adding nothing to the discussion! Enough people vote, and the posts get hidden! yay!
On the downside, they also have a Yes option, so the trolls band together under their bridges, and block vote them back in again, so you're back with pages and pages of childish drivel.
For example, remember that trolling abuse above? 2 people, yes TWO PEOPLE have voted that as being a contribution that adds to the discussion of Kindles. To me - IT DOES NOT! It's a troll post casting aspersions on
Personal abuse, or an insight into Kindle functionality that could enhance my eReading experience?
Well, at least 2 people think the latter, so The Xym must be wrong.
Unless, of course, it's one of the Troll Clan who have registered many times to fill up the forum with their gibberish, and using their alter-egos to bump up the votes on their own posts. I really can't see how some of these posts get Yes votes, when they are naught more than outright insults or childish mewlings.
I mean - honestly. They complain about people having no life, for simply spending two minutes running down a screen and voting retarded fuckwittery as being irrelevant crap. Yet they spend all day thinking up and posting incomprehensible twattery to out-incomprehense and out-twat the previous incomprehensible twatmeister of a poster!
The mind veritable boggles!
1 NOT TO BE CONFUSED WIT' DA MODERN TRANSLATION, NOM ON PLUMS, WHICH IS TEABAGGING, INNIT BRUV, YA GIT ME BLOOD, P'TSHAW. OR SUM'TIM'. YEAHMON.
2 WELL, MAYBE NOT SO MUCH A QUICK SEARCH ANYMORE. AS THE XYM BECOMES MORE AND MORE FAMED THROUGHOUT THE LAND (AS WELL AS FURRIN SHORES), SO PEOPLE HONOUR HIM BY NAMING THEIR STUFFS AFTER HIM! A CHINAMAN HAS NAMED A BOUTIQUE IN CHIANG MAI AFTER ME, AND A KOREAN HAS NAMED A MOTEL IN DAEGU AFTER ME. THERE'S PROBABLY OTHER STUFFS MY ADORING FANS HAVE ALL NAMED AFTER ME - AFTER ALL, MANY ARE THE LUSTFUL PRETTIES DOWN THE WHATACUNT WHO'VE NAMED THEIR VIBE IN MY PHALLIC HONOUR. AND THAT'S ACTUALLY TRUE, THAT IS. PROBABLY. OR NOT. AS THE CASE MAY BE. OR SOMETHING.
3 AND I NEED TO BE LOVED, JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE DOES. PREFERABLY BY CAROL PHWOARDERMAN, CLAWED EAR WANKLEMAN, HELL I'D-BONE-HER CARTER, ETC, ETC...
