Instead, you will have to buy them "under the counter" in plain brown packages!
I only hope the debranding of tar-based oral inhalation fumeage does not extent to cocoa based treatery! Oh, to lick an old toad and suck on Krakatoa (unlike Fergie sucking toes on crack. But not Fergie out of the Black Eyed Peas. Fergie what killed Diana on her husband's mum's orders. Although I wouldn't mind seeing Fergie's crack. But not Diana Deceaser Fergie, Black Eyed Pea Fergie this time. The one with The Humps. But not on her back, like Quasimodo. Although I wouldn't mind humping Fergie on her back. Or something).
It's not long before Confectioners and Tobacconists alike will have to start blackening their windows and being frequented by grubby flashamac'd pædo types, on the prowl for puffable pervosity.
"Anything I can get you sir?"
"I'll have some polo's, a can of Pepsi, A Sunday Spurt and a copy of Razzle"
"Is that all Sir"
"Umm... mumble mumble Doyouhaveanygrumble mumble mumble"
"Sorry Sir?"
"You know - um, some debonairre accoutrement to my digits to make me look more suave and sophisticated"
"Ah, I understand sir. We are a discreet tobaccopornist"
"Phew, 10 Marlborough Lights please"
"There you go"
"And a copy of Readers Pipes"
"Get out!"
"But I only want a glimpse of Meerschaum!"
"You sick fuck! We don't sell such hardcore filth here. Check the internetz - http://www.comparethemeerschaum.fag/ for all your opium and violin fetishistic needs. Simples."
