Thwarted!
Oh, that Stamp Gnome has upped the ante in retaliation!
See, for me mum's birthday, I needed a stamp for her card. So I went for the book of stamps I bought t'other week for that other card wot I had to post.
And what a surprise - after one stamp, the remaining 5 had disappeared into the ether (and he's probably nicked me mum's card with the hundreds of squids in1, as I've heard nowt to say if it arrived or any thanks for the cash...)
So I bought a stamp. ONE stamp!
Ha!
However, not long after, it's mah Niece's birthday. Oh, if only I'd bought a book of stamps! But then, as you never get past using one stamp, the Stamp Gnome would've made off with the other 5 in between.
So, I reluctantly buy another book of stamps. Use 1 for my niece, and securely tuck away the remaining 5 stamps in me wallet.
Daily check - o-ho! The following day, the stamps have mysteriously moved out of the pocket of my wallet, and into me jacket pocket! Caught in the act!
So, restore them into wallet, and check on a daily basis!
And thus far, I have managed to retain a book of stamps in my possession for over a week!
However, the Stamp Gnome has taken exception to this added security.
On Wednesday evening, I took out my Debit Card to pay for a Dominos Pizza online. Then put my card back in my wallet. Or so I thought.
My card has not been seen since.
Got to work yesterday - oh shit! My card's gone! Bugger. I must've left it on the sofa after ordering the pizza.
So, gets home. No card on the sofa arm. Fallen on the floor? Nope. Perhaps I put it on the back of the sofa?
Pull out sofa away from the wall.
Nothing.
Cushions and seats are taken off. Hands down back/sides. Check wallet, bags, shirt/jeams pockets. Tables, shelves, upstairs, downstairs, every concievable place I may have wandered with a card in my hand and placed it down.
Not a sausage.
Coat pocket, wallet again, bags again, re-sofa, open the laptop - not on the keyboard. Lift the laptop - underneath? Ah! Oh - a debit card shape of nothingness. Dropped in the pizza box? Bollocks - no sign.
So, the evil sprite has upped his game. He can't get his grubby mitts on me stamps, so he's after me funds!
But I has the last laugh - I put a stop on it this morning!
Hold on... that means any pre-orders due, and online orders are up the spout for a few days, as expiry dates and card number now blocked...
Cuntsickles.
And to top it all - I've just noticed he's thieved me nose stud out me nose! Honestly, you can't leave anything lying about, not even your nasal passages.
Damn you, Stamp Gnome!
1 AND HE'S MADE OFF WITH MY PSP CHARGING CABLE! I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE THAT WAS - ALONGSIDE THE PSP ON THE CABINET UNDER THE WINDOW. AND IT'S GONE. HONESTLY, THE LITTLE FUCKER'LL THIEVE ANYTHING!
