So, I has lots of Audiobooks on me iPad.
● 19 Blake's 7 audio dramas;
● 6 Neil Gaiman tales;
● 6 Mighty Boosh Radio Episodes;
● 5 Episodes of The Quatermass Memoirs;
● 2 Robert Rankin novels;
● All 7 Harry Potters;
● 15 Sapphire and Steel radio plays;
● 3 Sherlock Holmes tales; and
● Orson Wells's War Of the Worlds
Well, I thought it's about high time I caught up on them.
Now, listening to music is simple enoughs. However, listening to an audiobook is nigh on impossible!
I started with Sapphire & Steel: The Passenger. 2 hours of top time prevention action.
Somehow it took several days.
The problem with audiobooks is you get distracted too
[...oooh! Pretty!...]
easily. Or the characters'll say something
[...oh, what was it thingy said t'other day. Oh yeah, must remember to blog about that! In fact...]
that starts you off thinking, and you have to keep skipping back
[...that was it - Baby Got Back! Was gonna waffle on about big butted french chicks, and what that bloke posted about inappropriate wedding songs...]
to cover what you missed and even
[...that reminds me - I should get my S&S treatment drafted up and sent to BBC talent to bring 'em back. Open with dust encrusted empty café, sounds of locks being fiddled with, whispered argument between Copper & Silver. Silver enters, notices a lump of natural sapphire and a block of natural steel.
Silver "Ah! There you are! At last!".
Steel: "You took your time".
Silver: "Well, it wasn't easy. How long have you been here".
Sapphire: "3,725 years".
Silver: "Oh dear. Well, I'm here now. We'll have to get you new bodies of course. I suppose this one's almost used up as well."
Sapphire: "Silver - what happened?"
Steel: "Yes. Explain it to us. To me".
Silver: "Ah, now. I guess that'll have to wait. Right now, we need to get you back and corporeal. There have been... incidents."
Steel: "Incidents? And you only come looking for us now?"
Silver: "Not now. Then. We've been looking for you for almost 30 years, and in that time, some of the less expericed operators have been handling things."
Copper: "Mishandling things, you mean"
etc]
then you have to keep backtracking coz you keeps daydreaming
[...day dream believer, and a homosexual queen. He was a gay-ay-ay-ay stripper! One way ticket yeah...]
off at a tangent
[...oooh, mayhap I can do Essexy bloggeries about tan gents! Orange tango faces morphing into big blots of orange hue on the tellybox...]
and missing most of the the action!
So, a week and half later, and I've finished one (just one!) book!
Focus, Xym, focus
[...oooooh... Pretty in big boots sashaying down the corridor!
I see you baby, Shakin' dat ass.
I can't believe it, it's just too good to be true, I ain't never seen an ass like dat, they way you move it, you make mah peepee go b'doing doing doingggg...
Let me just dwell on that a bit longer...
...a bit more...
...a little bit more...
...Ooh Arr! A little bit more it be round these 'ere parts...
...and I know whose parts I wanna be around...]
Sorry, where was I again?
