Now that I have finally manage to extract the last remnants of putrescent green from my plumage, I is popliar again!
Last week I had to suffer the disgust and revulsion of others, as the Color-Removal process failed and rendered my barnet in a shade that repulsed everyone.
But now, an emergency bleaching later, and everyone LOVES me again!
Went into Starbucks, and one of the serving wenches went on and on about my follicular display of brilliance!
And then, when I went to pick up my Gingybread Latté, one of my Pretties out of the blue muttered:
"£85 for full head"
Whoah! I knew Starbucks were a bit stingy on taxes, but I didn't realise their wages paid so low that Barista Babes were supplementing their income by going on the game, and offering their favourite customer cappuchino fellatio of a morning!
But £85 to play the pink oboe though? I'm not familiar with these so-called Ladies Of The Night, but that seems a bit steep to me. Perhaps it's the risk of being a Lady Of The Early Dawn And A Quick Gobble In The Disabled Bogs that hikes up the prices?
Anyhoo, as it turned out she was thinking about dyeing her hair, and was discussing prices with the other serving wench.
So good job I didn't ask for her full price list!
And what is it with fabulous hair and trolls? A pretty little squirrel sent me a link to this image:
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| Credit where credit's due this guys hair is officially more awesome than mine! |
"Photoshopped!"
"How did u do that?"
"WTF? That's dumb"
"PHOTOSHOP you dumass turdz!"
Usually by generic gormsters with crap hair, no individuality, and not a jot of interest about them, so they have to make retarded comments announcing that they are so thick, they can't (a) recognize hair and (b) can't fathom out how people can cut hair, let alone dye it!
I've actually seen this bloke in Norwich City Centre in HMV. Or if not him, someone with the same haircut, albeit without the mohican then, just the black lizard.
It's an easy cut to do, so no need for photoshopping, let along ask how it's done.
But, for the twatarse illiterati out there, this is how the hair is done.
1) With an electric razor, the sides are shaved down to a number 1/2 cut, leaving the centre long.
2) Take one of them "pen" shavers - the ones that shave them tramlines into the sides of gansta rapperz, and shave out the body & feet.
3) Bleach the mohican with lightening bleach from Boots, Superdrug or Savers
4) Apply colored dye in layers, also from Boots, Superdrug or Savers. Or Rock Shops, where they have fluorescent dyes (the hair above uses 5 colors).
5) Use gel/mouse to keep the mohawk "spine" vertical
6) Tease the front by curling it back, and attach a couple of eyes from a craft shop.
It's not rocket science! I could have this haircut next...
...but I won't as I'm decolorizing coz I need to be all Tim Burtony Black & White of barnet in March! After THAT, I may go for David Ice Reptillian Barnet.
Photoshopped/How Do You Do It indeed! Wot a bunch of gobshites!
