There was an ad on last night promoting the new Kit-Kat "Chunky Champion" Superheroes.
Chunky champions? They weren't that fat - Even after scoffing all that chocolate! Chunky champions indeed!
Take that Mintinator - far from chunky, he's as weedy as that bespectacled yellow peril in red on the Sumo Rings element of Takeshi's Castle.
"Happy clappy Jappy chappie slapping Dappy wearing snappy nappies and eating snackies", as Lister would say. probably.
Then we get the Dominatrix, sorry - Coconutrix. Some svelte siren of superhero sexyness in a tight white jumpsuite, who's probably got the job coz ♪she's got a luvverly pair of coconuts♪, and favours four fingers up her flange!, the dirty sexKitten-Kat.
But who's this other superhero of snacks?
Now, we all know Peter Porker was bit by a radioactive oinker and became Spiderpig. Clearly, this chocolateer musketeer was raped by the radioactive ramrod of Mr Big in the showers to become The Fudgernator. Packing fudge at any opportunity!
Well, I guess Real Men have their Man Fuel of Yorkie bars after having to carry a bit of shopping up a slight incline coz they can't be arsed to park outside their house. I guess in these days of SameSexSandwich1 diversity equality, it's only fair they have a fudgernator to fill their fudge tunnnel with spunkybum homofuel.
The Fudgeatron indeed! Why couldn't Coconutrix have been the Fullsome Funbags Of Fudge, with rivulets of hot chocolate fudge sauce poured over her heaving busom and smeared all over her fudge factory instead?
No imagination these televisual advertising types!
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| Kit-Kat's chunky FudgeNugder Sporting the Gay Tash Of Sterotypicity and Giant Turd Onna Stick. |
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| and Kit-Kat's chunky Juggernaut... ...as in pair-of-coconuts jugs-ernaut Wielding the masochistic mace of mammarial munchies whilst repressing the pointy nips of pokey-eyes-out. or something. |
