Now, they had that Welsh rare bint off of We Are Scientits in a binkinini being slathered in paint, so I though I'd leave that on whilst I caught up on the hundreds of FB posts & notifications that suddenly appeared out of nowhere.
How comes that always happens - facebook is like a tumbleweeded dust bowl for days, and as soon as something good comes on, such as a scantily clad scientit songstress bring besplattered with smeary substances, Facebook goes manic!
Anyhoo, as I trawled through and caught up on all the goss (not Matt & Luke), some 'celeb' was outed as the voice of Brains in the new Thunderbirds next year.
So the presenter asked if he could do the Brains voice.
And Brains is now Asian! Confirmed by Brains Voice Man, it's now Bangalore Brains :(
Now, I'm familiar with outsourcing - a model used by managerial fucktards to somehow cut costs on the basis that 1 Asian costs a third the cost of a local employee, so why not make the employee redundant, split that role into 6-8 components, allocate 6 Asians per component, stretch a 5 minute job into 5 weeks, fuck it up, waste more time arguing over delivery, spend 2 weeks redoing the work, then have a local employee ditch the lot and redo it in 5 mins.
And then scrap the project a week before live.
And now they've applied that model to International Rescue!
"Ok, we have a collapsed mineshaft - we need sone form of tunneling device. Get Brains on the phone!"
"Hello, my name is Fred. How can I be giving you the pleasures today?"
"Brains, we need a massive drill boring device"
"For sure, for sure, Do you have a work order?"
"No, it's part of contract!"
"Many excusings please. Ah, we will be needings 6 resources to draw up a Requirement Document then another 8 to Peer Review it, then it will have to go to my manager for approval. If accepted, we will then send to our 10-man design team to draft up a a Technical Specification, which will be Quality Assessed in the weekly Projects And Enhancements meeting. If accepted, it will be presented for sign off by each if the 12 areas affected. It will then be added to the flightplan with a view to getting a drill request build request to our China sub-contractor. They will give us an ETA for delivery,, from which we can commission 14 test phases. On sign-off of testing, we will then deliver a team of military men marching in formation, as you just asked for a boring drill, and not a drill to tunnel. We will argue we delivered exactly what you asked for, so fuck you if we fuck it up. Just send us lots of money and end up building it yourself. Everybody wins!"
"Why, that sounds perfect. Aren't efficiency savings brilliant!"
See, if I was in charge if the Thunderbirds reboot, I'd've cast Fuzzbox! It'd be all modern, what with the Tracy sisters. Apart from Brains who wasn't a Tracy, but he was a scientist, so you could have the Welsh Rare Bint from Wee On Scientists Tits instead!
And I'd call it Binternational Rescue too!
So, something for everyone then! Strong, female leads to empower Teh Pretties, and for us blokes - exotic Tracy Island with Vix's long, long bronzed legs. AND the We Are Scientits bird in a bikini as Brains!
