Now, I was readin' me book last night, when Question Time popped on t'telly, and some damn fool posed the question: "Is Archbishop Wotsisface fit for the job?" because he proposed that some aspects of Sharia law (or was it Shania Twain?) should be included within the legal system, in the same way as we deal with the legality of other religions.
Such as Christianity.
Now, how you can challenge someone's political influence on the basis that they'd like to legalise some illegal aspects to ensure everyone is subject to the same law is beyond me!
The fact that he believes in fairies, winged harpers harping on their harps and some old beardy git in a toga only doing 6 days work sounds more like he's mentally unfit for any job!
But, the great tabloid readership are up in arms. At least, they will be until they get their hands lobbed off under these new laws, as they're stoned to death for not wearing a mask of a cold climate cow like animal.
Presumably, they want good, clean, decent Christian laws, like those in the bible. Like slaughtering witches, ripping out peoples offensive eyes, and nuking gay folk and turning into pillars of the Sodium Chloride community.
Not to mention torching all the schools.
On the other hand, if these Christians are sooooo devout in their belief, how come they ain't clamouring for The Yorkshire Ripper to be released? As I recall, he said that God told him to do it, and old God does have a bit of history with that type of thing. Started out as a little prank on (Jacob?). "Go on, kill him. Go on. Go on Go on go on. Go on go go on go on go on go on...Stop! Ha ha! Only joking. Have another cup of tea there Father!".
God's just 'upped the Ante' since then.
And if he's been up his Aunty, that not very moral for a divine being (as if God was moral anyway, nobbing Mary behind her husbands back!).
"Thou shalt not cover thy neighbours ox
but if his wife's a hottie, give her one for me".
Presumably, that makes the supreme diety some sort of Bilical dogger, who was unfortunate enough to be omnipotent instead of impotent, and ended up on some Pharisean version of Jeremy Kyle.
"Today on Isiah Hail: Admit you cheated - Paternity test show. Son of God... or son of a clod? We find out, after this break!"
Have you ever cheated on your partner with a celestial force?
Are you pregnant, and believe you are a still a virgin?
Does your husband obsession with whittling drive you into another beings arms?
Do you believe your child is the saviour of mankind, or simply just a prophet?
Give us a call - we'd love to hear from you!
