It would appear that the latest penny pinching scheme proffered by The Council is that, in order to save money and the Environment, they're considering turning off the street lights at night
Now, call me an unrestrained arsewit if you will, but surely it's a bigger waste of cash having them on during the day? How often have you gone down a daylit street and seen the bright beams of 1950s martian war machines seeking you out and burning you to a crisp?
The whole purpose of lights at night is to illuminate the area and drive away The Darkness (although Justin will probably take refuge in the nearest curry emporium). Imagine coming out of a nightclub, then having to traipse up The Most Dangerous Street In The World and getting deadded by some yob. PoW road? Yeah - taken and held in bamboo shacks and dipped in and out of the Wensum.
Wensum one comes along and foolishly takes a plunge into the icy depths in an intoxicated fashion! They were moaning on the nudes this morning, of how some drunken sot managed to fall in the river on Riverside, and they were bewailing the lack of railings.
Well, Excuuuuse me, but there is a great big fuck off road and pathway with barrier all down Riverside. If you decide to leave the path and wander along the embankment, you dererve the watery grave you end up with! If the aquanautical gormsters bypassed one huge set of railing to get to the trickling brook, I doubt another one's gonna stop 'em! Honestly, you don't find me jumping off the Tube platform and wandering alongside the rails, and wondering why I get walloped by trains, do you!
Darwin Awards and Gene pool cleansing, I think it's called.
And that was with the lights on!
Still, at least if they lights are off, they're more likely to walk into the barrier, rather than vault/duck under it, and collapse on the floor bewailing their bashed and bruised bodies before getting on the mobile to injurylawers4u or the fat faced Pie Man to claim cash for being thick as pigshit.
"I walked through a slippery puddle that was marked with a huge 'wet floor' sign, and lightly bruised my shin. I could've walked around it, but instead I got £5,000 compensation."
Awake...
A dream in the distance...
A scream...
In and out my mind goes...
