...booze make you really clever!
I got one of them 'fiendishly difficult' puzzley effort malarkies as a birthday treat. Now, according to the instructions, the target time to complete it is 83.5 mins.
I did it in under 20.
Not sure if that makes me a genius, or some all-night orgasm delaying stud muffin, but I think the results are conclusive: Drinking copious amounts of Jacques until the early hours of the morning focuses your mind upon awakening, and you become an Einsteinian calculus solving superprofessor.
Unfortunately, the drawback is that as the alchohol leaves the body, you lose that heightened state, and end up as thick as two short planks later in the day, and cant resolve perplexicities for the life of you!
Another drawback is the actual getting into the position to become that braniac, for the cost may be far to high! Take last night, someone must've read my unwisely posted drunken blog bewailing my lot and inviting all to give me a damn good kicking, for someone appears to have taken me at my word, and snuck into the house and set about my nasal passageways & Daniel Day-Lewis with a blunt object.
Either that, or someone waylaid me in a darkened alley and set about me with a stout stick on the way home, and I have no recollection of it!
Unless, of course, I'm being abducted by space monsters again, and they're forcing me to play some nefarious intergalactic version of Saw, before giving me a 'memory pill' a-la Touchcloth to leave me with a bloodied nose and unwalkable limbs and no idea how it all happened.
There will, of course, be those who'll simply say that the alchohol thinned up the blood, and I simply got a nose bleed in me sleep, and damaged me foot flouncing about on dancefloors failing to attract the attention of dreadlocked damsels. But that's preposterous, as despite having a bloodied fizzog, pillowcases & sheets are all suspiciously free of claret! Proof of someone covering their tracks!
Space Monsters it is, then!
