You have Chav and Chavettes... but wot about them Masterchefs?
Do you get Mistress Chefs, or Chefettes? And if they've et a Chef, then they're either cannibals, or indulging in fellatio in the kitchens.
Which should upset the Health Inspectors! It won't be cockroaches they cum across!
And how come, right, these contestants on Masterchef have to cook all poncey stuff? "Yes, I'm making a cream of fois gras sauce with a piquant sautee of maris piper potatoes with a duck breast and baby shallots, served with an aubergine rosti and julienne baby carrots".
Why can't they just cook normally - like
"I'm going to serve up a Fray Bentos tin of Steak and Ale pie, with a side dish of Smash with a tin of Green Giant Sweetcorn, followed by a Sara Lee Triple Chocolate sponge with Birds custard for dessert".
Or if you're on Ready Steady Cook: "I'll heat up some Campbells Tomato soup in the microwave, followed by a co-op micro-meal for one Chicken Curry (with basmati rice) and for dessert a scoop of Walls Cornish Ice Cream"
Ooohh.. I hear the dulcet chimes of the nursery rhymes of the ice cream man - hold that van! I want's me nut sundae...
As the chefette said to the Health Inspector as he got his cockroach out...
