God diggity damn it!
Today is me Mum's 60th Birthday (Happy Birthday Mum!).
Now, my original plan was to fly up to Manchester, and surprise her by a rare visit Oop North on her milestone Birthday. Unfortunately, I arranged it with my retard of a brother!
"Now, bro. It's mum's 60th. I'm thinking of taking the week off, and flying up as a surprise. You got anything special planned - it IS her 60th after all."
"Well, there's not much point. She's off travelling again. She's booked another trip abroad. She wants to spend it in the sun, seeing some Wonder Of The World."
"Bugger! Oh well, at least I can plan that week now."
"Yeah, I'll let you know if we plan to arrange a meal or something when she gets back."
So, this morning, I texts me mum.
"Wherever you are in the world, Happy 60th Birthday Mum!"
And I gets the reply...
"Thank you Xymon. I'm just getting ready for work."
Eh, whut?
Getting ready for WORK? She's supposed to be tomb raiding the fleshpots of Beduin tents and bartering for camels by the Aztec pyramidical Gate Of The Sun near Sexywoman1 with that macho Pikachu. or somewhere equally exotic! Not getting ready to go to work.
Well, thanks Brother! Now, either:
(a) My Mum thinks I've forgot her Birthday (as I haven't even sent a card yet, thinking I'd wait till she got back from the Amazon Rainforest pygmy huts of Babylon, or wherever).
or;
(b) She's expecting me to make a surprise appearance at her Birthday meal, coz for her 50th, I called from Norwich, so she thought I was here, and didn't know I was flying up to get to the meal. And now she'll be disappointed I ain't there.
Either way, I look like a right disappointing cunt of an offspring.
1 IT'S ACTUALLY CALLED SACSAYHUAMAN, BUT IT'S PRONOUNCED SEXY WOMAN. PROBABLY COZ OF ALL THEM FOREIGN TOLTEC/OLMEC PREUVIAN PRETTIES PARADING ROUND THE JUNGLE WITH THEIR JUGS OUT AS THEIR BAZINGAS BOUNCE ABOUT DURING FRENETIC DANCE. I DON'T REMEMBER THAT IN THE AZTEC ZONE OF THE CRYSTAL MAZE! CONTESTENT BARING THEIR BAPS FOR CRYSTAL JEWELS. THIS IS A 3 MINUTE ON-THE-GAME AND AUTOMATIC LOCK IN TILL MUMSEY PIMPS YOU OUT AGAIN. OR SOMETHING.
Tuesday, 30 October 2012
Monday, 29 October 2012
If you'll snip for me, I will snip for you...
Gaaah!
Today, I had the day off for a bleaching!
No, not one of them there anal bleachings. Who'd want Domestos or Toilet Duck squirted up their bum?
Anyhoo, get a txt - Ms Hairdressage is all a-poorly with morning sickness. or plague. or reanimatory zombie infection. or something.
So, my Hallowe'en barnet will not be a proper Hallowe'en barnet this year.
Buggery sod pissflap it!
Oh well.
Still. Day off! Whoop!
Today, I had the day off for a bleaching!
No, not one of them there anal bleachings. Who'd want Domestos or Toilet Duck squirted up their bum?
Anyhoo, get a txt - Ms Hairdressage is all a-poorly with morning sickness. or plague. or reanimatory zombie infection. or something.
So, my Hallowe'en barnet will not be a proper Hallowe'en barnet this year.
Buggery sod pissflap it!
Oh well.
Still. Day off! Whoop!
Sunday, 28 October 2012
Soon you will pass through my body, and be nothing but my shit...
After unfounded accusations of dancefloor gropacious snoggage with Pretties1, and thusly abondoned to Fend For Myself in a sea of Lara Crofts, Alice's, Leeloo's, Harley Quims and other diverse Pretties of an alluring nature, it's time for Hallowe'en Partay part II.
The Alphini birthday boy, saddled (Savilled?) in pumpkin, afore becoming a horny Devil, and ending up pissed with wonky antlers.
Or something.
Anyhoo, as Mr Migraine slept off the bollocknaise, it's left to Xym to entertain further Pretties.
Firstly, we like the Pretty Eyes whilst watching a film based on crows portrayed by ravens with images of eagles. Not to mention the titless wonders with their gravity enforced frontage.
And then, it's time for longpig nommage. And you know you're in for a good time when the credits have characters named "Gratuitous Lesbian #1".
And then, I has to sit back, being force fed green cake, chocolate cake, three fingers, scampi fries, bacon fries, choccie biscuits and whole bags of crisps.
Without a drink!
1 I MEAN, HONESTLY - THIS IS THE XYM. CHANCE'D BE A FINE THING. A FAREWELL HUG AND A PECK ON THE NECK AND IT'S SUDDENLY BESAVILE-ING THEM LIKE GARY GLITTER IN A VIETNAMESE SWEETIE SHOP! NOT TO MENTION THE MOLESTATIONARY MOTORBOARDING. MOLESTATION INDEED! WHAT'S WRONG WITH A RAIL NETWORK BOARDING AREA FOR BLIND TUNELLING RODENTS? I SUPPOSE "WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE MY MOLESTATION" IS MORE APPEALING THAN "WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE SOME PUPPIES". ESPECIALLY IF A MOLESTATION IS LIKE A PS3 FOR THE AFOREMENTIONED WORM EATING BURROWERS BENEATH. OR SOMETHING.
The Alphini birthday boy, saddled (Savilled?) in pumpkin, afore becoming a horny Devil, and ending up pissed with wonky antlers.
Or something.
Anyhoo, as Mr Migraine slept off the bollocknaise, it's left to Xym to entertain further Pretties.
Firstly, we like the Pretty Eyes whilst watching a film based on crows portrayed by ravens with images of eagles. Not to mention the titless wonders with their gravity enforced frontage.
And then, it's time for longpig nommage. And you know you're in for a good time when the credits have characters named "Gratuitous Lesbian #1".
And then, I has to sit back, being force fed green cake, chocolate cake, three fingers, scampi fries, bacon fries, choccie biscuits and whole bags of crisps.
Without a drink!
And then I has to sit though David Tennant and Kevin Webster as Lady C engages in under-blankie ladyfappage.
 |
| Kevin Webster Corrie Mechanic |
 |
| Colon Farell Camp Vamp |
Fun Timez.
1 I MEAN, HONESTLY - THIS IS THE XYM. CHANCE'D BE A FINE THING. A FAREWELL HUG AND A PECK ON THE NECK AND IT'S SUDDENLY BESAVILE-ING THEM LIKE GARY GLITTER IN A VIETNAMESE SWEETIE SHOP! NOT TO MENTION THE MOLESTATIONARY MOTORBOARDING. MOLESTATION INDEED! WHAT'S WRONG WITH A RAIL NETWORK BOARDING AREA FOR BLIND TUNELLING RODENTS? I SUPPOSE "WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE MY MOLESTATION" IS MORE APPEALING THAN "WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE SOME PUPPIES". ESPECIALLY IF A MOLESTATION IS LIKE A PS3 FOR THE AFOREMENTIONED WORM EATING BURROWERS BENEATH. OR SOMETHING.
Saturday, 27 October 2012
What's the point...
"I won't be there
next time you need me"
Apologies in advance - in a departure from my usual, light-hearted, not-to-be-taken-seriously, comedic OTT preposterousness, this is another, rare serious posting (caveat: some alliterativities and other usual tosh may creep in out of habit - no disrespect is meant)
Mortality.
It hits us all. In youth, we believe ourselves immortal. Then, yeah, we know the end will come someday, but feck it - who cares.
Then a bolt from the blue hits you.
Back in 1986, I was sat at home of a Saturday Morning, watching The Chart Show. Suddenly, a riot of color hits the screens, and a cacophony of aural pleasure. It's something called "Rules And Regulations" by some Brummie band called We've Got A FUZZBOX And We're Gonna Use It!".
Oh my! The Xym (well, it would be just Sim back then!) was smitten! No-one dressed like that round here! And they're roughly my age! Alternative Pretties! Oh my oh my oh my!
Later, the other pivotal band in my life came along (Neph), but Fuzzbox is always very, very special.
Now, when the Fuzzies came to Norwich in 2010, many will recall my excitement at finally getting to meet Jo with my starry specs on in homage! Yes, I know most preferred Vix & her legs, but for me, it was always Jo & Magz. And everybody forgets about Tina.
 |
| Fatboy Xym and Jo "Fuzzbox" Dunne |
So, it was somewhat distressing to hear that Jo passed away last night.
I've loved Fuzzbox since 1986 and that TV appearance. They are what turned me to the Alternative Scene, and the reason I ended up a short fat gothboy with preposterous hair and (for a while) ludicrous shades. And now, one of the founding members, not so much older than me is gone.
My heart goes out to Magz, but something in me hurts also. It's odd how someone you grew up with, yet ony met once, can impact you in such a huge way.
So, with my own mortality bared, perhaps it's time I took a long, hard look at myself, and perhaps listen to some people and change my outlook and behaviour. After all, I'm now increasingly aware of my own lack of longevity. Mayhap I should listen to Madam Faircloth, and grasp Certain Opprtunities before time hurtles me unexpectedly into the eternal darkness.
So, R.I.P. Jo Dunne. Actually, no - don't Rest In Peace - keep Rockin' With Jesus1 (Head To Toe).
Sleep well, sweet Angel.
1 OTHER DEITIES AND ELYSIAN AFTERLIFE'S ARE AVAILABLE
Friday, 26 October 2012
This is the truth of it: You are a hippogriff...
♫ Gimme An Inch
♫ Runaway
♫ Calls The Tune
♫ Monsters In Disguise
♫ If Only
♫ Do What You Gotta Do
♫ Hangin' Around
♫ Blackman
♫ Big Brother
♫ Accoustically Yours
♫ Coverplus
♫ Decadent Days
♫ I Give You My Sunshine
♫ Wonder Woman (I would rather)
♫ Writing On The Wall
♫ Will You?
♫ Eighth Day
*encore*
♫ Chasing Cars
♫ Feelin Good
♫ Spancill Hill
♫ I'm Still Breathing
Hazel O'Connor, Greatest Hits & Breaking Glass (live) tour, Thursday, 25 October 2012. The Waterfront, Norwich
♫ Runaway
♫ Calls The Tune
♫ Monsters In Disguise
♫ If Only
♫ Do What You Gotta Do
♫ Hangin' Around
♫ Blackman
♫ Big Brother
♫ Accoustically Yours
♫ Coverplus
♫ Decadent Days
♫ I Give You My Sunshine
♫ Wonder Woman (I would rather)
♫ Writing On The Wall
♫ Will You?
♫ Eighth Day
*encore*
♫ Chasing Cars
♫ Feelin Good
♫ Spancill Hill
♫ I'm Still Breathing
Hazel O'Connor, Greatest Hits & Breaking Glass (live) tour, Thursday, 25 October 2012. The Waterfront, Norwich
Thursday, 25 October 2012
Xym's list of exciting stuff (Nov '12)
A list of upcoming stuffs what The Xym is sort-of looking forward to.
| Jump to section: | Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month --- |
| 16 Nov 2012 | Breaking Dawn part 2 Thankful end to The Twishite Saga |
| 14 Dec 2012 | Hobbit #1: An Unexpected Journey |
| 20 Dec 2012 | Frozen Interpretation of Hans Christian Andersons "Snow Queen" |
| ?? ??? 2012 | Dario Argento's Dracula 3D Premiered 19 May 2012 - still awaiting UK release date... |
| ?? ??? 2012 | Thale Follow up to Troll Hunter, this time with Huldra instead of Trolls. Released in Norway on 17th Feb 2012 |
| 11 Jan 2013 | Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters I thought it was this year… apparently, it's next year. Bollocks. |
| 11 Jan 2013 | Les Misérables Movie of the Musical. Hugh Jackman as Valjean, Russell Crowe as Javert, Anne Hathaway as Fantine, Sacha Baron Cohen as Thénardier and... ♥♥♥HELENA BONHAM-CARTER♥♥♥☺ as Madame Thénardier!! |
| 18 Jan 2013 | Mama New spooky Guillero del Toro movie. |
| ?? Feb 2013 | Wreck-It Ralph Video Game boss escapes his game, and goes through the other games in the Arcade. Lots of classic game boss cameos… |
| 08 Mar 2013 | Oz: The Great & The Powerful Prequel to Wizard of Oz… by Sam Evil Dead Raimi! |
| 22 Mar 2013 | Jack The Giant Killer |
| ?? Apr 2013 | Oblivion |
| 05 Apr 2013 | Stephen King's Carrie Chloe Grace Moretz to play Carrietta White, Julianne Moore to play Margaret White |
| 12 Apr 2013 | Evil Dead Remake in progress. |
| 26 Apr 2013 | Iron Man 3 Plot based on the nanotech comic storyline Extremis |
| 17 May 2013 | Star Trek 2 |
| 23 May 2013 | The Lone Ranger Johnny Depp as Tonto… |
| 14 Jun 2013 | Man Of Steel Zack Snyder reboots Superman… |
| 12 Jul 2013 | Monsters University Prequel to Monsters Inc. |
| 12 Jul 2013 | Pacific Rim Guillero Del Toro's Kaiju homage. Giant sea monsters awaken, only to be fought off by giant robots piloted by humans! |
| 19 Jul 2013 | Kick Ass 2: Balls To The Wall |
| 26 Jul 2013 | Wolverine, The Hugh Jackman in another X-Men sequel |
| ?? Jul 2013 | Robopocalypse Spielberg adap of Daniel H Wilson Rise Of The Machines type novel |
| 09 Aug 2013 | Elysium |
| 14 Aug 2013 | The World's End Final part in Pegg/Frost's Blood & Ice Cream trilogy |
| 04 Oct 2013 | Sin City 2: A Dame To Kill For |
| 08 Nov 2013 | Thor: The Dark World Christopher Eccleston cast as Malekith |
| 22 Nov 2013 | Hunger Games 2: Catching Fire |
| 13 Dec 2013 | Hobbit #2: The Desolation Of Smaug |
| 07 Feb 2014 | Robocop Remake… and Robocop will have a visor so you can see Murphy's eyes/face. Gary Oldman cast (prob not as Murphy tho') |
| 14 Mar 2014 | Maleficent Angelina Jolie cast as Maleficient (looks awesome in the teaser pics) |
| 04 Apr 2014 | Captain America: The Winter Soldier |
| 02 May 2014 | The Amazing Spider-Man 2 |
| 23 May 2014 | Planet of the Apes 2 Sequel to Tise of the Planet of the Apes being fast-tracked. Andy Serkis mo-capping again. |
| ?? May 2014 | Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Remember the recent relief that the reboot had been scrapped… it's back on again. Fuck. Let's hope they've dropped the Ninja Turtles created by Space Monsters twattery that cunted up the last reboot plot… |
| 29 Jun 2014 | Transformers 4 |
| 18 Jul 2014 | X-Men: Days Of Future Past Or X-Men: First Class 2, if you prefer |
| 01 Aug 2014 | Guardians of the Galaxy |
| 21 Nov 2014 | Hunger Games 3: Mockingjay pt 1 |
| ?? Dec 2014 | Hobbit #3: There And Back Again NOW OFFICIALLY CONFIRMED! The Hobbit WILL be a trilogy! |
| 01 May 2015 | Avengers 2 Announced 8/8/2012 - Joss Whedon returning to write and direct! |
| 06 Nov 2015 | Ant-Man |
| 20 Nov 2015 | Hunger Games 3: Mockingjay pt 2 |
| Jump to section: | Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month --- |
| 05 Nov 2012 | Men In Black 3: Steelbook |
| 05 Nov 2012 | Santa Sangre |
| 05 Nov 2012 | The Snowman 30th Anniversary Edition |
| 12 Nov 2012 | Once Upon A Time (Series 1) Queen Regina in black leathers, and Red Riding Hood in her skimpy maid's outfit… :) |
| 19 Nov 2012 | The Lorax |
| 26 Nov 2012 | The Amazing Spiderman Steelbook |
| 03 Dec 2012 | The Dark Knight Rises Not only a Steelbook, but there's a Broken Mask sculpted edition too (£45 off've HMV). Oooooh! |
| 26 Dec 2012 | The Amazing Spider-Man |
| 26 Dec 2012 | Total Recall (the remake). Steelbook |
| ?? ??? 2012 | Dead Sushi A mad Japanese scientist injects a reanimatory agent into sushi, bringing it to life and going on the rampage! Psychotic seaweed wrapped rice with slaughterous seafood on the prowl! And they say there are no new ideas in film - killer sushi, who'd've thunk it! |
| ?? ??? 2012 | War Of The Worlds: The True Story Tim Hines accepts flaws on his original WotW, and does a much better job on this faux documentary |
| 2012 - 2013 | War of the Worlds: Goliath 3D Manga-esque steampunk sequel to WotW (sort of like Scarlet Traces). Release forever being put back… |
| ?? ??? ???? | Evangelion 3.33: Quickening |
| ?? ??? ???? | Kill Bill Redux Volumes 1 & 2 re-edited into one movie |
| ?? ??? ???? | Nightbreed: The Cabal Cut Remember Nightbreed? Snatched out of Clive Barker's hands and the last minute and butchered into a crapfest that made no sense, lost the whole plot and now impossible to get hold of? Well, Clive Barker recently found his VHS copies of the original footage that was thought lost. The film has been painstakingly reconstructed and re-edited to reflect the original vision. This "rough cut" is apparently really fucking brilliant, and pisses all over that shambles that was originally hacked to pieces for the original 1990 release. Obvs, as the extra footage is from Clive Barkers personal VHS collection, it's not great picture quality. However, turns out the "lost" footage isn't lost at all - Morgan Creek are still in possession of it! A negotiation has been agreed for them to release the footage for an uncut special Blu-Ray release... as long as they don't have to pay to produce it. WATCH THIS SPACE!! |
| Jump to section: | Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month --- |
| 03 Nov 2012 | The Pistols Norwich WhatACunt |
| 11 Nov 2012 | 3OH!3 Norwich WhatACunt |
| 21 Nov 2012 | Adam Ant Norwich UEA |
| 21 Nov 2012 | Peter Hook and The Light Norwich WhatACunt And what a cunt it is! Peter Hook, performing Joy Divisions "Unknown Pleasures" album, same night as Adam Ant. FECKARAMA!! |
| 30 Nov 2012 | The Damned Norwich UEA Support from The Dickies |
| 03 Dec 2012 | Thin Lizzy Norwich UEA |
| 05 Dec 2012 | Gary Numan Norwich UEA NOTE RESCHEDULED DATE!!! |
| 07 Dec 2012 | Pout At The Devil Norwich WhatACunt |
| 11 Dec 2012 | Human League Norwich UEA |
| 19 Dec 2012 | Sleigh in the UK The Wonder Stuff, PWEI and Jesus Jones! Shepherd's Bush Empire |
| 21 Mar 2013 | Clannad Norwich UEA |
| 21 Mar 2013 | The Selector Norwich WhatACunt |
| 25 mar 2013 | The Stranglers Norwich UEA |
| 03 May 2013 | Simple Minds Norwich UEA |
| 28 May 2013 | Depeché Mode The O2, Londinium |
| Jump to section: | Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month --- |
| 12 Nov 2012 | iDos Green Day New Album! |
| 23 Nov 2012 | Set List The Anthology Sham 69 |
| 26 Nov 2012 | War Of The Worlds: The New Generation Jeff Wayne's re-recording of his original album to work in more of the novel, with new sequences and revamped score. This Is NOT the live concert/show, but a new vision of the original concept album Richard Burton replaced with Liam Neeson Justin Hayward replaced by Take That's Gary Barlow Phil Lynott replaced by Maverick Sabre (who?) Julie Covington replaced by Joss Stone David Essex replaced by The Kaiser Chief's Ricky Wilson Chris "Thunderchild" Thompson replaced by Alex Clare (sung that "Too Close" song on the IE9 add) |
| ?? ??? 2012 | Made Glorious The March Violets New Album! |
| ?? Jan 2013 | Adam Ant Is the Blueblack Hussar in Marrying the Gunner's Daughter Adam Ant New Album - recently confirmed by Adam as a double album with 17 tracks. Presumably to be released to coincide with the tour later this year Previously rumoured tracklisting (so 17 of these - but can say for certain Vince Taylor is a definite track!): 1. Hard Men, Tough Blokes, 2. punkyoungirl, 3. Rubber Medusa (aka Gun in My Pocket), 4. Cool Zombie, 5. Shrink, 6. Cradle Your Hatred, 7. Who's A Goofy Bunny, 8. Bullshit (a song about the internet), 9. When I Was A Sperm, 10. Dirty Beast, 11. How Can I Say I Miss You, 12. Marrying The Gunners Daughter, 13. Stay In The Game, 14. Valentine's Day, 15. Vince Taylor, 16. Vivienne's Tears, 17. Bumpy Capers, 18. Mios Agos Y, 19. Call Me, 20. Sausage, 21. Izzy Dizzy Bums, 22. Stand Up, 23. I Know, 24. Darlin' Boy |
| 14 Jan 2013 | iTré Green Day New Album! |
| Jump to section: | Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month --- |
| 02 Nov 2012 | Lego: Lord of the Rings |
| 08 Nov 2012 | Angry Birds: Star Wars |
| ?? ??? 2012 | Animal Crossing 3Ds |
| Jump to section: | Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month --- |
| 01 Nov 2012 | The Educated Ape and Other Wonders of the Worlds Rankin, Robert |
| ?? Nov 2012 | Blake's 7: Archangel Harrison, Scott New B7 novel set between series 2 episodes 6 (Trial) and 7 (Killer) |
| ?? ??? 2012 | The Mechanical Messiah and Other Marvels of the Modern Age Rankin, Robert |
| ?? ??? 2012 | e-Book back Catalogue Lumley, Brian - in negotiations |
| ?? ??? 2012 | Necroscope: The Möbius Murders Lumley, Brian |
| 01 Jan 2013 | Sisterhood of Dune Herbert, Brian & Anderson, Kevin J. |
| ?? Feb 2013 | Blake's 7: Warship Anghelides, Peter. Expansion of the AudioDrama (eBook only). Fills in the gap beween series 2 & 3 (Episodes Star One and Aftermath) |
| 13 May 2013 | Blood of Dragons Hobb, Robin |
| ?? May 2013 | Blake's 7: Lucifer Darrow, Paul Picks up where the series left off - what happened to Avon! |
| 18 Jun 2013 | The Ocean At The End Of The Lane Neil Gaiman New novel for adults |
| ?? ??? ???? | The Chickens of Atlantis and other Foul and Filthy Fiends Rankin, Robert |
| ?? ??? ???? | The Crow Shirley, John. New graphic Mini-series, set in Tokyo |
| ?? ??? ???? | The Sandman Neil Gaiman - Yes, Neil is writing a new Sandman! This will cover the events Morpheus mentioned prior to his capture by Burgess. From Neil himself: "When I finished writing The Sandman, there was one tale still untold. The story of what had happened to Morpheus to allow him to be so easily captured in The Sandman #1, and why he was returned from far away, exhausted beyond imagining, and dressed for war. It was a story that we discussed telling for Sandman's 20th anniversary... but the time got away from us. And now, with Sandman's 25th anniversary year coming up, I'm delighted, and nervous, that that story is finally going to be told," |
| Jump to section: | Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month --- |
| ?? Feb 2013 | Blake's 7: The Liberator Chronicles #3 The Armageddon Storm Features original cast members Paul Darrow, Michael Keating, Jan Chappel and Tom Chabdon reprising their roles as Kerr Avon, Vila Restal, Cally and Del Grant |
| ?? Feb 2013 | Blake's 7: Warship See book above. Features original cast members Gareth Thomas, Paul Darrow, Michael Keating, Sally Knyvette, Jan Chappell & Jacqueline Pearce reprising their roles as Roj Blake, Kerr Avon, Vila Restal, Jenna Stannis, Cally and Servalan! |
| ?? Feb 2013 | Retromancer Robert Rankin adaptation in 13 half-hour episodes. To be aired on BBC Radio Feb 2013 |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Blake's 7: The Liberator Chronicles #4 TBA |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Blake's 7: The Liberator Chronicles #5 TBA |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Blake's 7: The Liberator Chronicles #6 TBA |
| Jump to section: | Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month --- |
| Autumn 2012 | Red Dwarf Showing in UK on: Dave. New Series (The Xym hath never watched it, so may have to start) |
| Latter 2012 | Primeval: New World |
| ?? ??? 2012 | American Horror Story (series 2) To be set in the 1960s. In a loony bin… sorry, Asylum. To be an anthology series… |
| ?? ??? 2012 | The Best Possible Taste BBC4 - 90min Kenny Everett Biopic |
| ?? ??? 2012 | Sinbad New mini-series |
| SPRING 2023 | Game Of Thrones (series 3) Series three to be A Storm Of Swords, Part 1 |
| ?? ??? ???? | A.L.F. Yes, they're bringing back ALF from 1980s Melmak… |
| ?? ??? ???? | American Gods HBO mini series being adapted by Neil Gaiman. Produced by Tom Hanks. |
| ?? ??? ???? | Bates Motel Psycho: Norman Bates, The Early Years… oh dear… |
| ?? ??? ???? | Blake's 7 Another potential reboot. This time optioned to the US. |
| ?? ??? ???? | Dracula 10 part series featuring Jonathan Rhys Meyers as The Count |
| ?? ??? ???? | Exorcist: The Beginning Spin-off series |
| ?? ??? ???? | Gotham |
| ?? ??? ???? | Journey To The West 13 part serial being adapted by Neil Gaiman. Probably better known as Monkey! in the UK |
| ?? ??? ???? | Stephen King's Under The Dome Scripted by one of the writers of Lost… |
| ?? ??? ???? | Mockingbird Lane Remake of The Munsters. Eddie Izzard as Grandpa, Jerry O'Connell as Herman, Mason Cook as Eddie |
| ?? ??? ???? | Neighbours A family move into a new neighbourhood, where the residents are all aliens… |
| ?? ??? ???? | New Nabors A family's neighbours turn out to be The Muppets! What's not to like!! |
| ?? ??? ???? | Once Upon A Time (Series 2) Showing in UK on: Fi5e |
| ?? ??? ???? | S.H.I.E.L.D. Joss Whedon's telly spin-off from The Avengers (Assemble) |
| ?? ??? ???? | 666 Park Avenue Showing in UK on: ITV2 |
| ?? ??? ???? | Space 2099 Yes, they're rebooting Gerry Anderson's Space 1999 in a new century… |
| ?? ??? ???? | Star Wars: Underworld |
| Jump to section: | Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month --- |
| ?? ??? 2012 | [●REC]4: Apocalypse |
| ?? ??? 2012 | Exists Sasquatch hunts humans. From the people who brought you The Blair Witch Project. Oh dear. |
| ?? ??? 2012 | Bill & Ted #3 |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Day of the Triffids Sam "Evil Dead" Raimi producing |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Dominion: Dinosaurs vs Aliens Barry Sonnenfield directing Grant Morrisson's adap of his graphic novel |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Dracula Eli Roth directing Russell Crowe as Drac… |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Girl Who Played With Fire David Fincher's remake of the 2nd Millenium Movie |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Human Centipede III: Final Sequence Yes, it's been scripted and the cast signed on to reprise their HC2 roles… |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Last Voyage of The Demeter The bit in Dracula where The Count travels in his coffin from Transylvania to England. Expanded into a movie with Viggo "Aragorn, son of Arathorn" Mortensen |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Pride and Prejudice... and Zombies |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Rentaghost: The Movie Russell Brand has been replaced by Ben Stiller as Fred Mumford |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Short Circuit Remake. Oh Mr Johnny Five, this good news, no? |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Stephen King's The Stand Remake - latest is that it may be split into several films or another mini-series. |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Suspiria Back on again (probably without Natalie Portman now) |
| ?? ??? 2014 | Godzilla Warner Brothers reboot. Again. |
| ?? ??? 2014 | Jurassic Park 4 Kicking off a new trilogy… oh dearie me… |
| ?? ??? 2014 | The Night Stalker Johnny Depp as Kolchak in the film adap of the series |
| ?? ??? 2014 | Pinocchio Guillermo del Toro directing |
| ?? ??? 2014 | Woman in Black: Angels of Death Hammer's [unnecessary] sequel to The Woman In Black set 20 years later… |
| ?? ??? 2014 | Zorro Reborn "The Fox" is rebooted! |
| ?? ??? 2015 | Avatar 2 |
| ?? ??? 2015 | Doctor Who David "Harry Potter" Yates taking it on |
| ?? ??? ???? | Abarat Adap of books 1 & 2 of Clive Barker's series. To be produced once books 3 & 5 published. |
| ?? ??? ???? | Atlantis Rising Comic book adap - may be a miniseries? |
| ?? ??? ???? | Assassins Creed Michael Fassbender to star as Altair |
| ?? ??? ???? | Attack of the Killer Tomatoes Remake in development! Possibly late 2012, or sometime in 2013. |
| ?? ??? ???? | Avatar 3 |
| ?? ??? ???? | Avatar 4 Only a possibility of Avatar 4 at moment |
| ?? ??? ???? | Batman Reboot (for a change!). Apparenly, due to the Avengers success, this one is to begin setting up a JLA movie. |
| ?? ??? ???? | Beetlejuice 2 Tim Burton back at the helm, and Michael Keaton now signed on to reprise role as Beetlejuice! Written by Seth Grahame-Smith, author of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, etc |
| ?? ??? ???? | Blade Runner 2 No prequel, and Harrison Ford WON'T be in it… unless Ridley decides he can have a brief cameo. |
| ?? ??? ???? | Boy Scouts vs Zombies Jesus. It gets worse… |
| ?? ??? ???? | Carpe Diem: The Adventures of a Demon Hunting Soccer Mom With a title like that, I gotta see it! |
| ?? ??? ???? | The Crow Legal details now resolved, so reboot going ahead. Can't see this being an improvement on the original. |
| ?? ??? ???? | Enormous André "TrollHunter" Øvredal adapting the comic strip for film, webisodes and TV… hold on… weren't they doing that with The Dark Tower? Looks where that's ended up - dropped into Limbo… |
| ?? ??? ???? | Fantastic Four Reboot… |
| ?? ??? ???? | Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest Remake of the 3rd Millenium Movie |
| ?? ??? ???? | The Graveyard Book Henry Selick adapting another Neil Gaiman book. |
| ?? ??? ???? | Hellboy 3 Guillermo Del Toro has started work on it! |
| ?? ??? ???? | Hellraiser In development |
| ?? ??? ???? | Here There Be Monsters 18th Century sea monster stuff |
| ?? ??? ???? | Highlander Reboot up again… |
| ?? ??? ???? | Hulk 3 |
| ?? ??? ???? | I Am Legend 2 How can he be a legend again? Oh, he wasn't in the first film either… JUST MAKE "I AM LEGEND" PROPERLY! |
| ?? ??? ???? | Stephen King's 'IT' Back on again! Cary Fukunaga relaces David Kajganich as writer, and becomes director. Also, it's being split into 2 movies (like the mini-series, then!) |
| ?? ??? ???? | Jitters Giant killer insects… |
| ?? ??? ???? | Legend of Conan As if Rocky Balboa and John J. Rambo's decrepit outings of an ancient weren't enough OAP porn for ya, Arnie returns in Conan: The Old Gimmer or some such! |
| ?? ??? ???? | Little Shop Of Horrors Remake of the Musical version, developed by (and starring) Joseph Gordon-Levitt |
| ?? ??? ???? | Logan's Run Rumour is the remake's back on again… |
| ?? ??? ???? | Monsters: Dark Continent Sequel to Monsters. As of the original borefest wasn't enough tedium for anyone, they want to bore us to death again! |
| ?? ??? ???? | Monty Python's… Untitled tale of aliens giving superpowers to a human for laughs. All the remaining Pythons… except, of course, Eric Idle who's refusing at the moment. |
| ?? ??? ???? | The Mummy Part of Universal's 100 year celebrations, another reboot |
| ?? ??? ???? | Myst Right. Latest is that there were… disagreements... on how to proceed. Those set on adapting The Book Of Ti'ana, and who though that wasn't a good introduction to Myst and wanted a new direction. Acrimonious splits ensued. When film the rights came to the end of the option period, a second lease was refused, and the option has been passed to Delve Films. Amongst the bitching, the film is slowly being developed again... but I wouoldn't hold my breath if I were me! |
| ?? ??? ???? | Neuromancer Adap of William Gibson novel |
| ?? ??? ???? | Night Of The Living Tim Burton & Seth Grahame-Smith developing |
| ?? ??? ???? | Poltergeist Sam Raimi remaking |
| ?? ??? ???? | Prometheus 2 Script now being written… |
| ?? ??? ???? | Shadow of the Colossus Adaptation of the game |
| ?? ??? ???? | Tape 4 Some Lovecratian terror! |
| ?? ??? ???? | Time After Time Remake of the 80s classic - Jack The Ripper escapes to modern times in HG Wells Time Machine, chased by… HG Wells himself! |
| ?? ??? ???? | Timecrimes US Remake of the Spanish classic |
| ?? ??? ???? | Triplets! Sequel to Twins! Schwarzenegger and DeVito discover their long-lost Brother (Eddie Murphy)… Recently confirmed by DeVito as actually being in development. Oh dear…. |
| ?? ??? ???? | Tron 3 Confirmed by Bruce Boxleitner! |
| ?? ??? ???? | Van Helsing Reboot, with Tom Cruise as Van Helsing… |
| ?? ??? ???? | Venom Spidey-Man spin off |
| ?? ??? ???? | Videodrome Remake back on the table… |
| Jump to section: | Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month --- |
| IN LIMBO | Akira Production once again halted… |
| IN LIMBO | At The Mountains Of Madness Guillerro Del Toro's plans are ruined. Ridley Scott's Prometheus is more-or-lese the same concept. |
| IN LIMBO | Chrome Pendragon Pictures sci-fi flick |
| IN LIMBO | Stephen King's The Dark Tower Dropped (again!). Hoping to be picked up by another company… |
| IN LIMBO | Forbidden Planet Remake written & directed by Babylon 5's J. Michael Straczynski |
| IN LIMBO | Ghostbusters 3 Officially dead. Bill Murray has said NO WAY, and unless he's on board, there will be no movie |
| IN LIMBO | Good Omens Gaiman/Pratchett movie adaptation to be directed by Terry Gilliam |
| IN LIMBO | Hawk The Hunter Sequel to Hawk The Slayer, currently awaiting funding. |
| IN LIMBO | Hawk The Destroyer Final in the Hawk trilogy. Presumably waiting for funding, or after Hawk The Hunter |
| IN LIMBO | Hallowe'en Reboot on hold, whilst they concentrate on he Hellraiser remake |
| IN LIMBO | Hallowe'en III 3D Either a remake of the Nigel Kneale Silver Shamrock version, or a sequel to Rob Zombie's crapfest |
| IN LIMBO | Necroscope Script written and film "being worked on"… but no news for months |
| IN LIMBO | Neverwhere Gaiman movie adaptation awaiting a director |
| IN LIMBO | Power of the Dark Crystal Sequel to The Dark Crystal Back on hold as of 21 Feb 2012, as OmniLab cut all funding due to the failure of their crap film 'The Killer Elite'. The Henson Group may speak to them later in 2012 about further development, or seek a new partner, or can the whole project. Again. |
| IN LIMBO | Sandman Gaiman TV Series adaptation awaiting a suitable director - Eric Kripke (Supernatural) was promising, but eventually turned down. |
| IN LIMBO | Tripods, The Movie adaptation of the trilogy, re-set in America. |
| IN LIMBO | Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me, Teresa Banks And The Last Seven Days Of Laura Palmer Remastered DVD/Blu-Ray with deleted scenes |
| Jump to section: | Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month --- |
| 31 Oct 2012 | Silent Hill: Revelation 3D |
| 31 Oct 2012 | Secret Of Crickley Hall |
| 31 Oct 2012 | Little Shop Of Horrors: The Intended Cut |
| 31 Oct 2012 | Fields of the Nephilim |
| 31 Oct 2012 | Basket Case 1 & 2: Steelbook |
| 31 Oct 2012 | Assassins Creed III |
| 29 Oct 2012 | London 2012: Paralympic games |
| 29 Oct 2012 | London 2012: Olympic games |
| 29 Oct 2012 | Human Centipede 1 & 2: Steelbook |
| 29 Oct 2012 | Bladerunner |
| 26 Oct 2012 | Bat For Lashes |
| 25 Oct 2012 | Hazel O'Connor |
| 22 Oct 2012 | Puppetmaster 3 |
| 22 Oct 2012 | Puppetmaster 2 |
| 22 Oct 2012 | Grimm (Series 2) |
| 22 Oct 2012 | Grimm (Series 1) |
| 22 Oct 2012 | E.T.: The Extraterrestrial |
| 22 Oct 2012 | Crawlspace |
| 22 Oct 2012 | Company Of Wolves |
| 22 Oct 2012 | Basket Case Trilogy |
| 22 Oct 2012 | Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter |
| 19 Oct 2012 | Tetsuo: The Iron Man |
| 19 Oct 2012 | Tetsuo 2: Body Hammer |
| 19 Oct 2012 | Paranormal Activity 4 |
| 19 Oct 2012 | Doom 3: BFG Edition |
| 17 Oct 2012 | Frankenweenie |
| 15 Oct 2012 | In Comfort EP |
| 15 Oct 2012 | Haunted man |
| 15 Oct 2012 | Hallowe'en 5 |
| 15 Oct 2012 | Hallowe'en 4 |
| 15 Oct 2012 | Dark Shadows |
| 15 Oct 2012 | American Horror Story (series 1) |
| 14 Oct 2012 | Walking Dead (Series 3) |
| 12 Oct 2012 | Smiley |
| 12 Oct 2012 | Hotel Transylvania |
| 10 Oct 2012 | The Fall & The Undertones |
| 09 Oct 2012 | The River |
| 08 Oct 2012 | Prometheus |
| 08 Oct 2013 | Zeitgeist |
| 08 Oct 2013 | Running In The Family: Deluxe Edition |
| 08 Oct 2013 | Mouth To Mouth |
| 08 Oct 2013 | Levelling The Land |
| 08 Oct 2013 | Levellers |
| 08 Oct 2013 | Hello Pig! |
| 05 Oct 2012 | Sinister |
| 03 Oct 2012 | Ultravox |
| 02 Oct 2012 | Resident Evil 6 |
| 01 Oct 2012 | Very Best Of |
| 01 Oct 2012 | The Terminator |
| 01 Oct 2012 | Mars Attacks! 50th Anniversary |
| 01 Oct 2012 | Child's Play |
| 01 Oct 2012 | Bad Seeds: B-sides & Rarities |
| 01 Oct 2012 | 30 Something |
| ?? Oct 2012 | Silent Hill: Book of Memories |
| ?? Oct 2012 | Revolution |
| ?? Oct 2012 | Misfits (Series 4) |
| ?? Sep 2012 | Giant God Warrior Appears in Tokyo |
| ?? Oct 2012 | Arrow |
| Jump to section: | Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month --- |
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