Alas, with one's dancing compatriots either loved up on honeymoon, lacking qaffing funds, or too busy being loved up with hairy assed gormsters who ain't The Xym, I spent the evening revisiting Rob Zombie's version of Hallowe'en
Now, many (Sherri) moons back, I had the misfortune to get a workprint of Rob Zombie's ruination of Hallowe'en. I also then tolerated the theatrical edition in the cinema, before somehow convincing myself to purchase his Hallowe'en 2 on Blu-Ray.
So, is it as bad as I remember, or was I just blinked by outrage at a remake of a classic?
SPOILERS WITHIN as both have been out for, like a million years (2007 & 2009) so I shouldn't be spoiling the plot... although it probably will for Hallowe'en II viewers who didnt figure it out...
HALLOWE'EN.
What Carpenter built into 4½ minutes of suspense has been extented into 30/40 mins of unnecessary hokum. Michael has gone from the normal, everyday kid who killed his sister out of the blue for no reason, has suddenly become some abused, bullied kid who decides to kill his pet, a bully, his step-dad, his sister's boyfriend and her sister.
So, that's the entire concept of the Hallowe'en franchise destroyed in an instant!
This segment could have been so much better. Shots of a normal, everydoy boy doing normal things. Playing, doing homework, etc - the point being there should be no indication that he's about to turn into a killer. None this abusive family tosh.
And then... another major departure. Michael in discussions with Loomis. Wrong, wrong, wrong! Never mind Malcom Macdowell's inept interpretation of Loomis, he's supposed to be disturbed by the boy. Instead, it's boring psychoanalysis. This would have been much better served with 2 key scenes: (a) from the book, the death at the hospital, where the spooky kid is believed responsible, and (b) from the film, the scene with Loomis visiting Michael in Smith's Grove saying "You fooled them Michael. But not me".
And then we come to Michael's escape. Oh dear. Rapey loony bin staff at night - well,that's original (not!). Totally unnecessary and ridiculous. Again, somethinig that could have been so much better.
And finally... the remaining film is a lazy copy of the original, devoid of any originality, shocks, suspense, sympathy or... anything! Dreadful. Just... dreadful.
Verdict: Some nice ideas that could have done justice and (blasphemy!) actually improve the original. Instead, the gore, rape obsessed Zombie demystifies Michael and shits on every core concept that forms the basis of Hallowe'en.
HALLOWE'EN II
Surprisingly good idea here. First of all, it begins as per the original Hallowe'en II... but then takes a radical departure for a totally different film.
For this is all about Laurie.
Michael is dead, shot in the head at the end of Hallowe'en. This film is about Laurie's descent into psychosis, and how she copes with the death of her brother... by becoming her brother.
Quite early on in the movie, it's made quite clear that Laurie is going mad, and confusing hallucination with reality. Visited often by a white horse, her mother, and both incarnations of her brother (the only 2 she's familiar with), she falls to what seems either hereditary madness, or just driven mad by the previous years events.
In the end, it's not quite clear if the whole movie was a hallucination, or she's locked up for the murders she committed, but either way, it's an intriguing movie.
Just a shame it's some ham fistedly executed. Gore and Tits seem to be what drives the film, with the result that most people don't get the whole concept that Michael isn't the killer in this movie, it's all Laurie.
Vedict: Damn good idea... just poorly executed.
