Remakes are all the rage these days, so how come there isn't a Bollywood version of Raiders of the Lost Ark?
India is steeped in mystical legends and gods, and you have a whale of a time...
..or even an octopus of a time, coz you could have Anya Jones battling it out with Ganesha - all you'd need to do is put a snake in the squids gob and stick some gloves on the end of it's tentacles and you're away!
Of course, Dr Jones would need a distictive birthmark on his forehead, so that Sallah can call him Bindi Anya Jones.
Now, Half A Sea Clarke has already investigated them Crystal skulls - apparently, they sit on the Lairds mantlepiece, but of you take 'em out of the mansion the whole house starts screaming.
Screamy Screamy Screamy it goes.
(mmmm 's cream...)
Now, there are these dozy parapsychologists who will take to the stroking of the greybeards, and insist on mystical forces imbuing the skulls and by way of the transperambulation of pseudo-cosmic anti-matter they form a psychic bond with the dwelling.
Which is a load of poached spouts boiled in a haggis style casing made from the undercrackers of Bernard Manning, for the skulls are just that - skulls! Of vocal chords, there are none, so they are physically unable to scream in protest at manorial eviction!
It's like Jason and the Argos shopping - hordes of skellington attack, yet bereft of tendons and sinew, they'd collapse in a big boney heap, let alone screeching and stuff!
What they should have had, was a dextrous pupetteer, like Gerry Anderson, as the bad guy, pulling the strings to make the skellies battle it out... yeah, it would be easier for him to take up a sword, but I think it would be rather sporting to engage in gladatorial combat with Pinnochio.
Although the telescopic nose is a bit sneaky, so he should be disqualified.
Or something...
