However, the government insist on forcing us to shovel in our "5 a day" portions of fruit and veg, so...
- 1x bottle of wine for the grapes (fruit)
- A great big fuck off plate of chips for spuds (vegetable)
- A huge bottle of cider for the apples (fruit)
- A vast carrot cake (vegetables)
- And for dessert, a 'cream tea' for the raisins in the scone AND the strawberries in the jam - Double fruit! AND you get cream, which is just very thick milk, and therefore healthy.
I can live with that five a day regime!
Oh, dammit, I need wholegrain to keep me heart healthy as well - no worries! For from the grain comes the marvel known as beer!
Chips, cake and booze - I'm loving this government advice!
