Apple are fond of bunging a lowercase 'i' in front of everthing, but did you know that their first project was adhesive, and that the 'i' at the start of their product is an abbreviation of ice?
Now, there are those who will tell you that eskimos live in ice houses called igloos. This is slightly incorrect, as the dwelling itself is actually called an iHome (ie 'ice'Home, to be more precise). Common sense will tell you that you can't make a building out of blocks of ice, coz they'd slide about on the curvey bits and fall in on itself.
So, what holds the blocks of ice in place? Mortar? Concrete? Well, it's a special formula that Apple came up with called iGlue. A mix of snow, ice, innuit sperm, blubber and Apple's secret ingredients.
Due to translation issues and Phonetics, the iGlue became igloo, and stuck (ha ha!) as the name of the house.
BUT where in an igloo (I'lll use igloo for ease, as people will still call it that) is the iLoo? In all these movies, documentaries, I've never seen an Armitage Shanks bowl in the arctic domiciles. Do they cut a hole in the floe, and drop a log straight into a dolphins gob?
And how do they pee? Surely, in sub-arctic conditions as soon as the flow starts, it'll freeze up! Seems to me like you'd start to pee and get an arcing stream burst out like a golden rainbow, then it'll instantly freeze, blocking you off, so you have to snap off the stream of urine to let another rainbow burst free, and again, until you've hosed out all your fluids.
Jeez, if they're also jerking off, they'll end up with spurts of frozen white spunk - never mind "Watch out where the huskies go, and don't you eat that yellow snow", it's also "Watch out where the lonely eskimo's go, and don't you eat that white spunky snow"
Look deep into the parka...
...do you dream of lesbian ham...
