Talking of Xmas, I see from the Tagliatelly that them cops are doing another Xmas Drink-Driving clampdown.
Clampdown my arse! If they were clamping down on it so much, then a certain jolly fat bloke in a red suit would be behind bars with his pilots licence revoked! Well, think about it - he goes round, and in each house the kiddies leave him a mints pie and a glass of sherry!
Now, that's one hell of a lot of sherry to be drinking when your making deliveries and behind the reigns of a fleet of reindeers! 20 houses down the road, and he's probably ripping open the pressies looking for the inflateable guitar, standing on the rooftops like U2 and playing Air Guitar, thinking he's Santana Clause!
And talking of a pilots licence - I know he probably doesn't have to pay road tax, but surely that sleigh is somewhat on the unroadworthy side of permissible vehicles? It's an accident waiting to happen! It's just an open topped carriage with a load of toys in the back! If a X-BOX 360 falls of the back and brains some kiddie who's hoping to get a glimpse of Santa, there'd be uproar! And if he's allowed to have what's basically a flying car, then I wants one! No more roundabouts, just flying through the air. And you'd be at eye level with bedroom windows, so you'd get more than your fair share of eye candy getting ready for work!
Trouble is, you'd get a load of eye sprouts as well!
Anyhoo, Is it just me, or is there something creepy about Father Chistmas? You tend to tell the kiddies not to talk to strangers, but these negligent parents are determined to force their kids into his suspiciously darkened grotto in The Mall and make them sit on his lap. Now, I'm not saying Santa's a paedophile, but you wouldn't encourage your little ones to climb into the lap of a fat tramp and demand that he give them something.
And do you really want your kids encouraging fat fellas to get drunk and creep into their bedroom at night to become Saint Knickerless and empty their sack?
Sounds a bit on the dodgy side to me!
