Are you fucking mental or what?
Just been woken by ParcelForce delivering 8 maids - complete with cows. Is this some Polish immigration workscheme or something? Tell you what - it won't be them cows they're milking when I get back tonight.
You trying to set me up with a brothel as well as a menagerie? Who on earth sends their partner a bunch of peasant women for Xmas? Jesus. ParcelForce reckon this one's hilarious - maybe I should offer Postie and hour or two with some of the maids as recompense for their trouble.
This one takes the biscuit (and the milk, sugar, tea... in fact - how am I supposed to feed this lot?).
Just dawned on me, the incremental increase in gifts until Xmas day. I dread to think what I get 9 of tomorrow.
Me.
